When children enter the picture, your life changes forever. We all know that to be true. The change is not a bad thing, but all of a sudden your life is revolving around the baby. Your sleep time is changed, your diet is changed, your schedule is changed and the amount of laundry you do definitely changes. As your child grows, some of these areas in your life get back to normal, except for your laundry… that continues to build!
Children can for sure change your marriage, too. So, the question is how do you balance life with children and your husband? It is hard to do, and let’s be honest; sometimes our husbands get put on the back burner because sometimes we don’t have the energy to put in the “extra” time with them.
Here are four tips to keep your husband and marriage front and center in your life.
1. Carve out 10 minutes a day to de-brief each other’s day.
This activity honestly saved my sanity when the children were little. I needed those ten minutes! Greg would get home from flying and I would follow him to the bedroom while he changed out of his flight suit and into normal clothes, and I would tell him about my day and he would do the same. In those ten minutes I shared with him the highs and the lows of my day and asked how his day went. After those ten minutes, I usually would work on dinner and he would play with the kids, but I was good until after bath and bedtime routines were finished with the children. When I started working again, we did the same thing. Even when Greg was traveling, we would debrief our days with each other.
2. Don’t skip date nights. Ever.
I’m not sure why, but it is hard dating your spouse, I guess because in the back of our minds we feel like we have them, so what’s the point? The point is…you want to keep them! You should try to go on a date at least every other week with your spouse, and while on the date TRY not to talk about the children. What to do on a date is as hard as figuring out when to go. Sit down with your husband and write down several things you like to do, even write down things you like and your husband likes. Put all these ideas into a jar for date night ideas and when it’s time, pick one.
3. Get away with your spouse over night at least once a year.
You honestly need at least three nights away because it takes 1-2 nights for you, as a mom, to finally relax. Greg talked me into a cruise one year and it was wonderful because everything is done for you, meals, cleaning of the room, and there are a lot of activities to do on and off the ship. Try it!
4. Marriage is like exercise…. consistency is key.
If you don’t exercise your body and take care of it, you eventually lose your figure. Same thing with marriage- if you don’t pay attention to your husband or the flame will eventually go out. Of course, some seasons are harder than others, but after the hard seasons you should for sure give your marriage some extra TLC. (Tender Loving Care)
If you want to hear more about marriage, hard seasons and reconnecting with your spouse, listen to these episodes of Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs:
- How Do I Reconnect With My Husband?
- How Do I Stop Resenting My Husband?
- How Do I Keep My Marriage a Priority?
Love you all,