WT 105: Is There A Right Way To Be A Working Mom?

by Karen Stubbs | Birds on a Wire | Wire Talk Podcast

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Gratitude Journal

How to Leave a Wire Talk review

There’s no ‘right’ way to be a working mom and of course it’s not ‘wrong’ to be a working mom! On today’s episode Karen and Sunny take questions from moms about work, work-life balance and all the emotions that come along with navigating this part of life once kids enter the picture.

Question 1:  Motherhood didn’t end up how I imagined. I had always wanted to stay home with my kids but due to my husband’s job loss (& honestly, the cost of living) I ended up a working mama. I absolutely love my bosses, who treat me absolutely incredibly. I’m extremely grateful for my position & their support but sometimes, I still feel guilty about being away from my 2 yr old son. They say that these are the most impressionable years & I feel extremely guilty for not being a bigger part of these first few years. Are there any scripture verses in particular that could help me fight off the guilt? BTW, I love the podcast & Mom Core has really encouraged me!

Karen’s Answer: First off, rarely does “life” turn out the way we think it will. So, I get that.  You are so fortunate that God has provided a great work environment with great bosses. So, I think the scriptures I would go to are the ones of gratitude. I would also look at the scripture to where God works all things for GOOD.  Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” There are a lot of great, amazing, wonderful working moms, that were/are truly invested in their children.  Be one of those moms. Wake up every morning and give thanks to God! Thanks for provision, for your son, thankful for your bosses, and thankful for a God that makes all things work together for good.

 

Question 2:  So I enjoy working outside of the home. It makes me feel like a better mom because I can come home at the end of the day and just love on my kids and plan fun weekends with them. People make me feel so guilty about wanting to be away from my kids and help provide financially. How can I continue to tell myself that it’s okay to enjoy working?

Karen’s AnswerJust that! You know you.  So, develop thick skin because you know what works best for you and your family.  People can “try” and make you feel certain things, but you have to accept it. So don’t. Every woman is different and family is different.  Be YOU! Stay in your lane and be comfortable with your four walls.  

 

Question 3: Is it okay to take a break from ministry for your children? I am on the praise and worship team, but I think it would be overwhelming to continue that role with a nursing newborn and toddler in tow. It’s a ministry I love being a part of and would hate to leave, but I wonder if it would be the best thing in this season.

Karen’s Answer: It is 100% okay to take a break from ministry for your children. I believe your children ARE a ministry. In my humble opinion, there is nothing worse than a mom that devotes all her attention and energy for church ministry and neglects her own family.  Proud of you for think ahead and realizing the stress would be too much. Ministry will always be around! and they will always need volunteers. You’ve got time! Resist any guilt you may feel and know you are doing what is best for you and your family.

 

Question 4: How do you feel like you are doing “enough” when you are only parenting your children, shuttling them to school and activities and managing the house, but your friends seem to all do that PLUS a job or starting their own ministry. Some days I feel like I got a four year degree for this? And when it comes to having a grown up conversation I feel like I no longer have anything intelligent to contribute.

Karen’s Answer: In life we all make decisions on what we think is the “best” at the time and with those decisions comes sacrifice. Right now, your decision is to be full time mom, and the sacrifice is you.  That doesn’t mean that this season is forever, but I’m sure you thought through your decision for a while and you feel this is best for you and your family. I have felt the way you feel, about the four year degree and not doing anything with it, but now I have an entire career and it didn’t start until my late 40’s.  There is plenty of time to do both! As far as grown up conversations, you may need to build some of those in during this season, which is important for you and your mental state. (It was for me). My suggestion is to get some sitters and get out of the house with adults. Realize that life is full of different seasons in life, this maybe a season of sacrifice, but bloom where you are. 

 

Moms, we know your time is precious. Thank you for spending it with us. We hope you feel encouraged, equipped and most importantly—the peace of God. You can receive encouragement each week by tuning in to Wire Talk; so subscribe today and be sure you never miss an episode.

If you have a question about motherhood we want to hear it, so make sure you visit birdsonawiremoms.com/askkaren and tune in each week to see if we cover your question. You can also find on us on Instagram and Facebook, so follow us over there and send questions our way on social media as well.

Because of people like you, we can have an even greater impact!

Birds on a Wire is grateful for the continued support of the Jeff Gore Scholarship Fund which allows Moms to attend Birds on a Wire events at reduced cost.