WT 028: How Do I Create a Balanced Life?

by Karen Stubbs | Birds on a Wire | Wire Talk Podcast

Moms have so much on their plates at all times. With all of the busyness, how do you keep a balance between kids, marriage, work, spirituality, and time for yourself? Karen and Sunny dive deep into this topic on today’s episode!

Question 1: What are some tips for keeping a balanced life between your kids, marriage, and spirituality that helped you? Especially when you were working outside the home full time?

Karen’s Answer: Get up early! I know! I hate this answer too, but you asked.  In order for me to carve out time for God, I had to get up early. Also, your children will always wiggle their way into your world, your plans and your time.  I’d protect your marriage time over your children time.

I’m not sure I ever overcame this, I would tame it every so often.  When I started feeling empty, I’d tell Greg, “I need a date”.  And as far as “me” time, I regularly carved out time for myself, even at the house.  My children knew when I’d go into my room to take a bath, that was “leave me alone time”.  I admit that sometimes my bath didn’t take an hour, but I would stay in my room with the door shut for an hour. I cannot stress to moms enough about taking care of themselves while raising your children.

Be intentional about carving out time. Getting up early, going on a date, or creative your own space. Be selfish by putting yourself first on a regular basis. Be protective and efficient with of your time, so when you are selfish you don’t feel guilty.

Question 2: Karen, I know that “Me Time” is important, but how did you manage to carve it out when your kids were young? I am craving me time, but can’t seem to make it happen.

Karen’s Answer: You have to force yourself to do this. Greg was gone so much, I had to keep myself healthy emotionally/physically/spiritually or we wouldn’t have survived.

Think of one thing you could do for yourself this week:

  • coffee at Starbucks by yourself
  • haircut
  • buy flowers
  • long bath

Think of one activity you could do with your husband as an investment?

  • dinner
  • watch a Netflix series together
  • have sex
  • set your alarm to remind yourself to do your quiet time with God.

Whether it’s in the morning, afternoon or at night, do it!

Question 3: How did you maintain your relationships with your friends when you starting having kids? I have 1 toddler with plans for more and I already feel myself not being a great friend. My mommy friends get it, but my friends without kids don’t. In the end, I care more about being a good mom than a good friend, but my friendships are still important to me and I don’t want to lose them.

Karen’s Answer: Your friends that don’t get it, they aren’t going to last anyway.  Your friends that do get it, they are the ones that will be in your life over the next 20 years, so invest in them.  Right, there you’ve saved some time, don’t invest in the relationships where they more than likely will not last anyway.  Not trying to be cold here, but you don’t have the luxury to waste time.

I sort of had three layer of friends. The outside layer were the friends that I knew at church, school, Bible study that were on the peripheral. I was nice to them, caught up in the hall, but never did anything outside of those environment.

My next layer were the moms of my children’s friends, you know, the ones you talk to on a regular basis because of your children. You do “life” together because you are doing life at the same place.

Lastly were my good/dear/best friends. These friends I may not see on a regular basis, but these were the people I called to go to the movies with, I called to talk about my children with to get their advice. These friends, I could talk to for an hour and still not get tired of.

Who did I invest my energy into ? Level 3 friends.

Question 4: How do I get back into exercising and eating healthy? Pre-babies I went to the gym and ate really healthy. But now that I have my kiddos, I’m too tired to wake up for an early run and my dinners usually consist of dino nuggets.

Karen’s Answer: Baby steps. Start one new thing per week, and then gradually add in  other new things. For instance: one week increase your water intake.  Make it your goal to get up to 1/2 your body weight in ounces per day.

Next week, stop eating chips/cookies and replace those with a healthier choice. Create a space in your pantry that is “your” food, put healthy choices there. On the weekend, cut up carrots, celery, fruit so when you go to grab a snack it’s already done. Start buying healthier food for the house

I’m experiencing this right now.  The children are all gone to college, so I cleaned out my pantry, threw a ton of junk away and am  restocking the shelves with healthier choices, buying fruit, hummus, guacamole, etc.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Moms, we know your time is precious. Thank for spending it with us. We hope you feel encouraged, equipped and most importantly—the peace of God. If you want to have weekly encouragement emailed to you, visit birdsonawiremoms.com to sing up for free weekly tips of motherhood.

And remember, if you have a question about motherhood I want to hear it, so make sure you visit birdsonawiremoms.com/askkaren.

Thank you moms, have a great day!

Because of people like you, we can have an even greater impact!