WT 003: Will We Ever Survive the Toddler Years?

by Karen Stubbs | Birds on a Wire | Wire Talk Podcast

On today’s podcast, we’re talking about a big one that all moms can relate to! Will We Ever Survive the Toddler Years?

Question: “How do I handle my toddler’s temper tantrums out in public? At home I walk away, but I don’t know what to do when we’re out running errands and everyone is staring”

Karen’s Answer: If you can believe it, I’ve walked away at the grocery store! Once my child realized I wasn’t there they came running to find me. Believe me, no one is going to take your child who is pitching a fit. Nobody wants to deal with that.

Honestly, I found the best place to discipline was at home, so I would not go out until I felt like I had mastered it at the house. Then when we did go out, most of the time, I would just say, “Do we need to go home? Do we need to go to the car to adjust your behavior?” My children knew what that meant and they would straighten up (most of the time).

Temper tantrums are a part of life.  Your child is not getting their way, and they are trying to get you to swing to their side. You must take away that control from them.

Question: “When should we attempt to move our child from a crib to a bed?”

Karen’s Answer: There is no magic time. If your child is climbing out of his/her crib, or if you have baby #2 arriving soon, and you need the crib, those are all good signs

A lot times these mile stones are a bigger deal in our mind more than anything. As a mom, we think, “Oh, they love their baby bed, they will miss it, or they will resent their baby brother for getting the crib.” But, in reality, it usually goes way smoother than what we imagine.  I think it’s how we approach it.

Question: “How do you enforce personal boundaries with a toddler. My little one will play independently, but he is always right at my side or playing near my feet. I feel guilty about not playing with him every second, but I have to get things around the house done and I can’t accomplish it all during nap time.”

Karen’s Answer: I can completely understand how this can sometimes make a mom feel guilty (we go in-depth on managing mommy guilt topic on Episode 001! Listen here.) You can put up a baby gate.  Set a timer and say, “Play her until the timer goes off, mommy needs to do some laundry.” When you are first starting off, keep the timer short and then increase the time as you are seeing success.

Some of my children played more independently than others.  Abby would go off and play forever by herself, so much so, I would forget about her being in the house. Kelsey liked to stay right by my side. So I would set the timer for her. I would stay close by, to where she could see me and hear me. I would check in with her, and say, “You are doing so good. Make mommy a something to eat in your play kitchen.” That would get her mind onto something else and that always helped.

It’s important that our children learn to be independent of us, it actually builds their confidence.  Teach this independence at a young age and it will help you as a mom. Don’t feel guilty about getting your work done around the house.  You have a job to do and it’s important and your children need to see that and value that in you.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Letters to Mom

Mom Core DVD

Moms, we know your time is precious. Thank for spending it with us!

If you have a question about motherhood I want to hear it, so make sure you visit birdsonawiremoms.com/askkaren and tune in each week to see if we cover your question.

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Thank you moms, have a great day!

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