WT 065: How Do I Deal With Social Media Comparisons?

by Karen Stubbs | Birds on a Wire | Wire Talk Podcast

It’s hard enough being a mom when it’s just about your kids. But what about when other moms, school, and social media make you feel like you’re not enough? On today’s episode, Karen helps answer the question: How do I handle social media comparisons?

Question 1: Karen, most women on my facebook news feed post pictures of clean well-behaved children. I know it’s not always real, but it makes me feel resentful sometimes. I know that my children are a blessing, but what should I do if I don’t always feel #blessed?

Karen’s Answer: Take a picture of your children after bath time and put on a nice outfit, even if it is before bed.  Then post that picture.  🙂 No! seriously, it may not be a bad idea, and post the picture on your refrigerator to remind yourself your children do clean up well.  

You know, I experienced this in a different way.  I was never the type that would think through pictures, like all of us matching.  I have this picture, the first professional picture of Greg and I with Kelsey and we all have on a different colors and the colors did not remotely blend.  It is the craziest picture.  BUT! that has never been on my radar. So, throughout life it was a struggle for me. Most the time, Greg didn’t want to spend the extra money on matching outfits, so I would just let everyone wear their best outfits.  Which never matched.  Just own it! You know your kids clean up well, you’ve got to start speaking truth to yourself.

Question 2:  Karen, what verses can I read when I am feeling like I’m not enough? 

Karen’s Answer:

You don’t have to be enough, God is enough! But, here are some verses.  

  • My competence and adequacy come from God. 2 Cor 3:5-6
  • I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. Phil 4:13
  • I am a child of God, holy and blameless. Ephesians 1:3-6
  • Christ’s power is made perfect in my weakness. 2 Cor 12:9
  • God knows my weakness and is full of grace and mercy. Hebrews 4:15-16
  • There is no condemnation for me because I am in Christ. Romans 8:1, Romans 5:6
  • I am in Christ and He is in me.  John 14:20

Write out one of the verses and post it all over your house to renew your mind!

Question 3: Karen, I am truly not competitive at all. Because of that, I struggle with competitive women. The other moms in my son’s class turn everything into a competition. They will send out emails almost weekly saying “who can help out the teacher by bringing in the most school supplies this week?” or “which kid will come in first at field day?” It takes everything in me not to reply all and say that I don’t care. I want to be an involved mom for my son, but I really can’t handle the competitive nature of other moms sometimes. I know that’s a long question, but what advice do you have to help me with this?  


Karen’s Answer: That is a great question!  It is a REAL question.  I don’t think it would be bad to reply, “Y’all have fun, I’m sitting this one out”. Who knows, you may give another mom permission to do the same.

I just tried to ignore those types of women, and thought to myself, “Knock yourself out!”  My problem is Greg is competitive and he loves to perform.  Listen, it’s bad when the front office of the school knows the Dad more than the mom and that is exactly the way it was with us.  Not kidding.  And, when we would walk in together, the ladies at the front would all talk to Greg, and just look at me.  I’d just smile.

Question 4: I feel like I’m doing the best I can with balancing my life and my children and husband’s lives… but I also feel like I’m falling short of every other mom I talk to. How do I stop feeling like a failure as a mom?

Karen’s Answer: Register for Soar today.  This year our topic is Grace and that is exactly what you need to give yourself.  I’m serious about Soar! It will really help you!     

You know what? I may fall short of all the other moms, and at times I felt like I did, BUT the bottom line is God put me with my children and then with me, so God in His infinite wisdom does not think I fall short.  I would remind myself of that all the time.

You NEVER know about these moms that seem so perfect! I remember one such mom that seemed to be so perfect and one day I heard her cuss her child out for doing something wrong.  I mean, this mom was a room mom every year, brought the best teacher gifts, did everything for everyone, was the #1 volunteer at school. I didn’t do any of those things. But, I also never cussed my child out either. Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

 

Thank you, moms. Have a great day!

Because of people like you, we can have an even greater impact!