Being a grandmother is such a joy! It is honestly the best of both worlds, because you love and adore the grandchildren but you don’t have the day in and day out responsibilities of a mom. It can be difficult in those early years though, when you and your daughter or daughter-in-law are adjusting to the new dynamic in your relationship, to figure out your new role as grandmother. Here are a few ways I’ve found to be a grace filled grandmother as I’ve taken on this new role and I know there will be more adjustments to come if and when Taylor marries and a daughter-in-law comes into the picture one day!

  1. Don’t give advice unless asked.

Yes, you may be right, but better to be quiet and let your child figure things out for themselves. This is necessary for them in their journey of parenting and unsolicited advice is rarely welcomed! If they ask, by all means, give your opinions and wisdom, but remember that what they decide to do is ultimately up to them; don’t be offended if your advice isn’t followed!

  1. Spoil your grandchildren, but support their parents 100%.

Taking the grandkids out for ice cream and snuggling up to to watch special TV shows at your house, these are the delights of being a grandparent! But remember to respect your child and the rules they have set for their kids. If they have asked you not to let the kids watch certain TV shows or to not let the kids play on your phone, be respectful and considerate of their wishes. Even if you think their rules shouldn’t apply at Grandma’s house, honoring your children during the time you spend with the grandkids makes the parent’s job easier when they pick the kids up and honestly makes it more likely that you’ll get to see the grandkids often!

  1. Continue to make something of your life and don’t guilt your children into visiting you.

The Bible tells us that when two people get married they are supposed to “leave and cleave”. That means leaving you, their parent, and cleaving, or clinging, to their spouse. We all want to see our adult children often and continue to have a close relationship with them, but make sure that you are investing in your own life. What are the hobbies or interests that you are pursuing now that your children have left your nest? Make sure that you are investing in yourself and continuing to make something of your life! It is right and good that your children are busy and have their own lives, find joy in their independence and consider it a job well done mom!

  1. Make your home a place to where your children and grandchildren will want to visit.

It doesn’t take a lot of money or really much time, but doing a few simple things around your home will make it easier for your kids and grandkids to spend time with you at your home. Provide a comfortable place for your daughter or daughter-in-law to nurse or to rock and lay down the baby when grandbabies first arrive. Add a stool in your bathroom during the toddler years and keep some kid-friendly snacks in the pantry. Fill a basket with simple toys (check second-hand places like Once Upon a Child for budget-friendly options) or a handful of read-aloud board books around the house. It doesn’t have to be complicated, but these little things will make visits to your house feel special for everyone! 

What ways have you found to be a grace-filled grandma? I’d love to read from you in the comments!

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Birds on a Wire is grateful for the continued support of the Jeff Gore Scholarship Fund which allows Moms to attend Birds on a Wire events at reduced cost.