I was just in California with my two young grandkids and I can already see their different personalities shining through. I believe Evie, the oldest, is a Blue; she is very sensitive, and you can tell immediately if her feelings are hurt. (Usually her feelings are hurt when you aren’t doing what she wants). Chapman, her younger brother, is a Yellow; he is full of personality and full of life. He controls by charm for sure. I think he also has some Red in him, which means he has a little bit of a temper when he doesn’t get his way. My daughter Kelsey is like all the other moms out there learning how to parent each child differently. It takes more work than parenting with a broad stroke, but pays off in effectiveness in the long run.
In parenting it is good to “see” your children for the way God designed them and parent accordingly. Proverbs 22:6 is a familiar parenting verse and we often hear it quoted as follows, “Train up a child up in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (NASB) I love the Amplified version of this verse which elaborates on the Hebrew meaning of “way he should go”. That version reads, “Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (AMP) The practical take-away here is that not all children should go the same way. God has created them each uniquely and they all have unique paths. (Although they ALL require training!)
If you don’t know your children’s (or your own!) personality type – try taking the assessment we’ve put together for you HERE.
With each of the personality types keep a few things in mind:
Red: Powerful, very loyal, need credit for their work. They control through their anger.
Yellow: Crave attention, want approval from others. Their key word in life is FUN! They control through charm.
Green: Peaceful, avoids conflict and confrontation. Easy to get along with but with a tendency toward stubbornness. Controls by procrastination.
Blue: Sensitive, thoughtful, deep thinkers. Strive for perfection. Controls by moods.
Use these thoughts as a starting point to honestly reflect on your own children. What is the way that they ‘should go’ in order to grow more Christ-like and yet honor the way that God has created them? For more on personalities, check out Wire Talk Episode 60 and Episode 103 or watch the Being a Student of Your Child lesson from my curriculum, Mom Core.