What do you do when your child has been taught certain values, and then chooses to ignore those around other people, or in a different environment than your home?

First off, like I wrote last week, pause and remind yourself that your kids are little sinners. Seriously! We all are. In our sinful nature, we are selfish and want to rebel against the authorities in our lives. Sometimes all it takes is that little pause, where you remind yourself that this is normal behavior, to take anger or frustration out of your response.

Next, ask yourself if you have really taught your child the “why” behind this family value, or this particular behavior that you want to see? Once your kids are school-age, you have entered Discipline 2.0 and you need to focus not just on discipline for bad behavior, but on instruction too. In his letter to the church at Ephesus, the apostle Paul wrote,

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Many parents focus on the discipline part and forget to instruct! Discipline should always be accompanied by instruction in these years. Why should we speak kindly to others? Why is it important that we tell the truth? Why does it matter which friend group you hang out with? Moms, if you can’t give your child good answers to these questions, seek them out! A rule without a why will not lead to long term behavior change and certainly not heart change.

This is not a one-and-done conversation! Discipline and instruction are a process that takes years, sometimes decades to show fruit. When you grow weary - think, how faithfully and lovingly does my Heavenly Father discipline and instruct me when I rebel and behave in ways I shouldn’t? How glad am I that He doesn’t abandon the cause and give up on me?

What an opportunity we have, to show God’s love to our kids, as we diligently discipline and instruct them, year after year!