I have three daughters and each of them is a treasure, but like everyone else we had our struggles. Here are 3 key ingredients to fostering a good relationship:

#1 Model what a mature relationship looks like.

This means treating your daughter with respect, even when she is not showing you respect. If you react in an emotional way to her emotions, it will only lead to a shouting match. Keep in mind she is still young and immature and only sees life through her own personal lens. Be a good example for her and gain control of your emotions before speaking. (See Proverbs 29:11)

#2 Listen before you lecture.

Listening is a powerful tool in any relationship, especially with our daughters. They are over-looked, laughed at, talked about, and treated unkindly on a regular basis at school, so let them always know that you are a safe place for their stories. You are someone who will always listen, and be there for them. (See Proverbs 18:13)

#3 Let your daughter know you are FOR her.

You want to clearly communicate to her that you are on her team, on her side, and want the best for her. Be on the look out for opportunities to praise her character and to share that you are proud of the right choices she is making (even when/if they are few and far between!) Encourage her whenever you can. And yes, sometimes being FOR someone means saying “no” to them. (See 1 Thessalonians 5:11)