If your child still has severe anger issues by the time they are 4 years old or even older, it more than likely is because you didn’t deal with them effectively when they were 2 or 3. I’m not talking about the occasional melt down, I’m talking about consistent anger issues because they are not getting what they want. IF that is the case you are going to need to have the, “There’s a new sheriff in town” talk and set up some new rules. Pick a time when there is NOT an immediate behavior issue going on and have a short and sweet talk with your child. Here’s a quick script:

#1 ‘Behavior X’ has been going on for too long and I am sorry that I have not been consistent in how I have dealt with it.

#2 ‘Behavior X’ is not acceptable in this family and I’m not dealing with it anymore.

#3 When ‘Behavior X’ happens, this is what you can expect from mom…

That’s the easy part. Once you’ve established the new system, it’s time to stick to your guns. Do not cave! You must hold the line in love so that this behavior comes to an end. It’s going to be tough, because the bad behavior has gone on for too long, but you can do it. You are going through discipline boot camp! Get your whistle out. ;)

For more on anger, read this post about The Anger Iceberg.