Birds on a Wire Moms

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Desires vs. Expectations

Have you ever considered how many expectations you have in a typical day?

Like when you first wake up and walk into the kitchen, do you have an expectation that your spouse made coffee? Throughout the day, do you have more expectations? Maybe that your boss would say thank you for the extra project you took on or that your friend would call you back?

We create expectations in our minds of the way we “think” our children should behave, our family should treat us, the way our job should be, in-laws, holidays, friends, teachers, etc. We usually have a laundry list expectations! And what happens when those expectations aren’t met? I know I get frustrated, angry, or just plain grumpy! When we approach our days with built up expectations, we allow the actions of others to determine our attitude. We rise and fall on these expectations Mommas, which is an unsteady approach to life.

If we have an expectation that our husband will take out the trash, what happens in our hearts when he doesn’t? We’re annoyed, right? And even when he does do it, we’re not grateful, because well, that’s just what he’s supposed to do.

But if instead, we approached this situation with a desire - more of a, “Hey babe, I’d love it if…” approach as opposed to a, “You are the one who’s supposed to…” attitude- in this scenario, when our husband takes out the trash, we’ll be appreciative. We might even remember to say thank you, which might encourage him to do it again!

Instead of having expectations that may never be met, why not work toward shifting to a desire mentality, so that when people do pull through, you are excited and grateful? Our expectations are like weights that sit on the shoulders of our loved ones. They feel like they have to meet your expectations in order for you to be happy, and that is not a good feeling for anyone.

If you think this might be a struggle you’re dealing with, I’d love for you to try this exercise this week:

  1. Pray and ask God to reveal any expectations you have throughout your week. Oftentimes, our expectations are invisible to us, mommas!

  2. For 7 days, make a note in your phone or jot down in a journal anytime you realize you have an expectation of a situation or a person.

  3. At the end of the week, pray and ask God to help turn those expectations into desires.

Mommas, you know who can have expectations of?

Our faithful God! He promises us everlasting love (Jer. 31:3), new mercies each day (Lam 3: 22-23) and grace upon grace (Eph. 1:3).

Praise Him today, He will never disappoint you!