The holidays can be so tricky, can’t they? All around us upbeat Christmas tunes are playing, Hallmark is running their fairytale Christmas movies non-stop, and we’re often left wondering why our holidays season doesn’t feel so ‘merry and bright’.

Maybe it’s your first year as a single mom during the holidays, or maybe you lost a parent this year and you’re juggling the pull of your widowed parent and the needs of your own family. Maybe finances are tight, or you are unexpectedly pregnant and can’t quite muster up enthusiasm about it yet. There are so many emotions tangled up during the holidays, it’s understandable when we can’t quite marry reality with the picture-perfect holiday cards we keep receiving in the mail. So here’s my advice mommas, whatever situation you find yourself in this season:

1. Keep expectations low.

   Whether that’s your own expectations, your child or spouse’s expectations, or your extended family’s expectations. Don’t promise anything without really thinking it through first. Your children probably don’t care if your cookies are store-bought or homemade. Your babysitter will be thrilled with a handwritten thank you card or $5 to Starbucks instead of the Pinterest-perfect gift idea you saw online. Keep it simple.

2. Carve out time for the things you want to do.

   Go ahead and put them on your calendar NOW (in pen!) Maybe it’s driving around looking at Christmas lights one evening or going to The Nutcracker with your mom. Don’t let your wish list get stamped out by your to-do list! Prioritize one or two things that will make you smile.

3. Keep your emotions in check.

   Don’t let people or situations steal your joy, stay focused on the real meaning of Thanksgiving and/or Christmas, which can be celebrated quietly, simply, and without a single decoration or special meal.

Whatever your holidays look like, make the most of it. This year I won’t have all the children with me, so my holidays will look very different, but I will focus on celebrating with the ones that are present and will enjoy them to the fullest. I hope you can re-focus and find a way to enjoy whatever this year looks like as well!