WT 388: Raising Boys Right: Balancing Discipline and Love
Join us as we dive into the wild, wonderful world of parenting boys in today’s show. Karen shares her wisdom on re-integrating older sons who return from college and disrupt your routine, navigating the world of a perfectionist 7-year-old who's feeling blue (in more ways than one), and handling an argumentative teenager who could debate for a living. Plus, we answer the age-old question: when is it okay to ignore a temper tantrum in order to keep your sanity intact?
Mentioned on this episode:
A Grown Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring
Raising Emotionally Strong Boys book and workbook
Wire Talk interview with David Thomas
Wire Talk is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Questions Karen Answers In This Episode:
Question 1: We have four boys. ❤️21, 💙19, 💚16, and 💛12. The two older ones are away at college most of the year. When they come home for summer, the first few weeks are great, but a month and a half in, I’m tired of their laziness and the way they disrupt our routine!
Question 2: I’m desperately hoping you can help me with my 7 year old son who is very very very blue. He is having such a hard time with losing and taking criticism and generally coping with challenging things. I know this all stems from his need for perfection, and personally I relate to this since I'm blue/red as well. He pouts and feels ashamed at the simplest things like being asked to do a chore or if you correct him (evenly very gently) on a homework problem. Losing a game is a whole other thing, it’s honestly to the point where I can’t play any games with him. He cries, whines, constantly talks about how “horrible” he is and then resorts to getting upset whenever anyone else is doing good. I’ve tried talking with him about emotions and ways he can work through those in a healthy way (deep breathing, taking a walk, counting to 10 etc), but nothing seems to help. I have punished him when he’s being disrespectful and I’ve taken away privileges for things like games, screen time, etc. My mom thinks he needs more play time with boys who will call him out on that behavior, but I feel like his poor attitude is becoming a bad habit. I need advice on working on his attitude and helping him become more resilient to life’s challenges.
Question 3: Oh Lordy! I need help! My son who is now 16 has been argumentative since age 2! I used to say, ‘this child will argue that the sky is not blue!’ Recently he argues all the time! I mean, even if I try to do something nice, like make a sandwich for him, he will say I am babying him. If we ask him to do the simplest thing, he will argue, then say he will…then forget to do what we asked. He has had consequences for not completing chores on time and we have taken his car away for days for a poor attitude! Please help!! I feel like our relationship Is just full of fights!
Question 4: If we’re out at a store and I tell my son, ‘no’ to a toy or food ask, he loses his mind and starts to push on me or poke me with an accusatory finger with ugly words. When is it important to address those ugly behaviors and fight the good fight, and when is it ok to just ignore the reactions and not feed it with more attention and prolong the tantrum?