So many times in parenting we get caught up in the weeds with our kids and we can’t see the forest for the trees. This series is a way to help moms pause for just a moment, and look at the big picture. During our month long “Bottom Line” series, Karen and Sunny are tackling 5 different stages of life for our kid and sharing wisdom for what we moms need to keep our focus on during those years. Today we’re talking all about the early years, where you need to keep your focus ages 0-5.

Links from today’s show:

Focus on the Family

Moms on Call - Basic Baby Care book

Boundaries with Kids by Cloud and Townsend

Loving Your Child Too Much by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy

Parenting By the Book by John Rosemond

Question 1: What’s the Bottom Line for our kids during the earliest years? What do moms need to keep their focus on until their kids reach school age? 

Karen’s Answer:  The first year, just love on them! Here are a few tips I can give for children under 1: Get them into a routine with a schedule.  Same nap time every day, feeding time, and bedtime.  In the middle of the night, when your baby wakes up, don’t turn on lights, don’t talk to them, just go in, change their diaper, feed them, and lay them back down.  

Ages 2-5: These are fun years, but they are hard years.  First off, a lot of new moms don’t realize these years are so hard, so when the hard hits, the moms ask themselves, “What am I doing wrong, why is this so hard?” The answer is nothing!  ☺ A child from age 1 to 5 realizes that they have a voice, and they instinctively push back on authority. Your job as a mom is to show them, in love, that you are the boss.  Authority is part of life, so they better get used to it.  

During these ages I would focus on a few things: 

• Does my child obey? 

• Is my child learning and growing? Learning to walk, talk, learning their letters, learning how to count, etc.  I wouldn’t stress on this part, but I think it’s a good idea to read books to your child, limit their screen time to where it is a treat not something that is expected.  

• Does my child exhibit a loving heart towards others, to share, be kind, and loving? (practice with their siblings)

• Give your child rest time every day, even at age 4, get them to learn how to be by themselves , not having to be entertained all day long.

• Ultimate goal:  Obedience, skill building, good heart and schedule

Question 2: What emotional and spiritual milestones are our kids hitting during this season? 

Karen’s Answer: Spiritual- Introduce the idea that God loves them very much.  God created all things and he wants to be part of their little lives.  I used to say bedtime prayers and we prayed at meals, went to church, and would read a toddlers Bible book to the kids sometimes before bed. 

Emotional- Teach your child how to manage their basic emotions. Anger, sadness, excitement. Teach them to say, “I don’t like that” when someone is doing something they don’t like.

Question 3: What are common things that moms get distracted by in this season? 

Karen’s Answer: I think moms tend to worry too much during this season in life, probably because it’s all new to us and we want to do it right.  For instance, social media, their phones, what everybody else is doing. Distracted by child’s behavior over their heart. Like in public their behavior embarrasses you and you are worried about how people are perceiving you as a mom, over the place where you child is.  Your child might be tired, and it’s time to go home.

Question 4: Practically speaking, how do we accomplish the  goals of question #1?

Karen’s Answer: Take lots of deep breaths and realize that usually by kindergarten your child will be potty trained, your child will usually expand their taste buds past mac n cheese and chicken fingers, your child will learn to read and write and normally the playing field all levels out.  What feels like a mountain you will never be able to climb, it will work out. 

Obeying – be intentional, write a schedule, set up a time for reading, Continually introduce new foods but don’t make it a battle.

Question 5: Who else is involved in keeping us and our kids on track during this season? Who do we need to ask for help from in this season? 

Karen’s Answer: Spiritually I would lean into the church, family and grandparents. Focus on the Family is also a great resource for families!

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Show Credits: hosted by Karen Stubbs with Sunny Williams, written & produced by Katie Leipprandt, edited by Kyle Cummings

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