Our kids aren't the only ones who struggle with screen time, are they? Today Karen and Sunny commiserate about how easy it is to let our phones control how we spend our time and offer thoughts for cutting back and setting boundaries. We hope this show reminds you that you are not the only mom struggling here, and also encourages you to make some changes to your habits this week.

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The Social Dilemma Netflix documentary

Wire Talk episode 173, Technology + Motherhood with Arlene Pellicane

Question 1: Hello! I need help! I'm a stay at home mom of three little girls under 5. My husband works a lot! Especially this year, maybe because of COVID and being quarantined, I turn to my phone to socialize or some sort of entertainment. Or I get a notification and just go to check it and then 15 minutes later I catch myself scrolling. I hate my girls always seeing me on my phone. I have tried to tell myself I can't go on my phone for anything (social media, needless scrolling, online shopping, chit chat with friends/family) until the girls are in bed at night. I am feeling  guilty because I will WASTE hours on my phone at night. I tell myself the easy fix is to delete these apps, or close my accounts on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest etc. but I justify many of them because I have found so many useful tools within those apps. I need advice on a healthy balance or any other tips for phone usage! I'm wondering if I am the only mom who feels this addiction to a smartphone. It's embarrassing, not to mention unhealthy in so many ways!

Karen’s Answer:  Trust me, you are NOT the only mom that struggles in this area.  I can easily lose an hour on my phone, and you look at the clock and realize what you’ve done and it’s frightening how fast the time went. Here are my tips on how I personally navigate this dilemma.  

• I set limits for my phone, you can physically set a timer

• I will also set a boundary that I will not look at my home AFTER I finish work, or not until I get into bed at night

• Start removing a few apps, I deleted the FB app from my phone, because out of sight, out of mind. 

Question 2:  What are some practical boundaries I can put in place to lessen the amount of time I’m fixated on my phone during the day?

Karen’s Answer: Put your phone down until certain times of the day. Here is the deal, we as moms have to do what we have to do to be present with our children!!! Ex. Abby and car pool line. Do what it takes moms! Start off with setting a timer for your phone for 20 minutes to look, then when the timer goes off, put it down and do your other jobs ☺

Question 3:  I have one child in particular (out of 4) who seems more drawn to technology than my others. He wakes up and asks to watch a show, his first question when he’s done with school is if he can play on the iPad. It seems like giving him screen time just feeds his desire for it. Is this just the battle modern moms face these days or is there a way to stop the struggle once and for all? I am tired of playing screen time referee. 

Karen’s Answer:  It’s okay that he likes technology but we can all get lost in it. Moms need to set the limits. I would set up clear boundaries around technology:

• No screen time before school

• On the weekends only one hour of screen time per day

• No screen time until after your homework is done, and your chores are done, and you’ve played outside for 30 minutes. 

Question 6:   I’m a mom of an 18 month old baby girl and my phone is a major struggle. I need it nearby to receive calls, but find the pull of social media, texting, streaming music/shows/podcasts can be constant. My little one doesn’t talk with me so I like having AirPods in to listen to content sometimes while my phone is out of view but it magnetically is drawn back into my hand. I use my phone for EVERYTHING. I can print from it, message the doctor, order takeout, FaceTime grandparents, check work email, deposit a check, snap pictures, order groceries, you name it! I do it all from this device. Some days I do well getting less screen time and other days I think I’m downright addicted to my phone and want to model healthy technology use for my daughter. *question submitted on a smartphone where I enjoy BOAW community so it can’t be all bad!

Karen’s Answer:  Good for you for realizing you are addicted.  I get it, and I can even struggle too. Listen, when your battery is dead by 3:00 in the afternoon you know you are on it too much.  Like with any addiction, taking responsibility is the first step. After that, set limits and be disciplined.  You may need to turn off apps on your phone, take off FB or Instagram, only use it for calls and emails.  I bet you will be surprised if you cut just those few things you will save a lot of time. Be disciplined. Let it be a treat or reward not an everyday thing.

If you have a question about motherhood we want to hear it, so make sure you visit birdsonawiremoms.com/askkaren and tune in each week to see if we cover your question. You can also find on us on Instagram and Facebook, so follow us over there and send questions our way on social media as well.

Moms, we know your time is precious. Thank you for spending it with us. We hope you feel encouraged, equipped and most importantly—the peace of God. You can receive encouragement each week by tuning in to Wire Talk; so subscribe today and be sure you never miss an episode.