We’re baaaaack! And we’re kicking off the New Year with a month of episodes focused on your teen. Whether you’re the mom of multiple teens or you’re still in toddler world, you’ll benefit from tuning into today’s practical wisdom for dealing with drama.

Parenting Together curriculum

Karen’s devotional - Moments with God for Moms

Lighthouse Family Retreat

Question 1: How do I know when to walk away so an argument doesn’t get volatile versus hearing my teen out? Sometimes we need to walk away but they need to be heard...how do I know which situation is which?

Karen’s Answer: For me, it was lots of prayer and asking God for discernment. But, as a whole I think if your teen is talking to you in a respectful way, then you should stay engaged and listen. You may not like what you are hearing, but if they are having the maturity to speak in a respectful way you need to stay and listen. When things do get heated, you just need to say, “Hey, let’s put a pin in this and talk after dinner, let’s both cool off and meet back together at 8pm. Try to keep your emotions in check even when your teen’s start to ramp up. It’s hard to do but prayer really does help.

Question 2: I understand teens need a lot of empathy and their emotions are all over the place, but how do you set boundaries around letting emotions set the tone for family time?

Karen’s Answer: There is a time and place for everything. When my teens were too emotional and bringing the whole family down, I would tell them I thought it would be best if they went to their room and stayed there, until they could cheer up or calm down. There is no reason for the entire house to suffer because one person was in a bad mood. If the mood of your teen is chronic, then they need a time out or time away from everyone to reset.

Question 3: My daughter begs for my help and compassion, but then everything I offer is “wrong” and leads to a tantrum. When I leave her alone, she’s more rational. Is stating the truth (this is not who God made you to be) then leaving her alone ok when I see it coming? She is normally positive and pleasant!

Karen’s Answer: Yes, I think it’s totally fine to speak truth to our children, then give them space to work it out. The teen years are years when our children, teenagers, are trying to figure out who they are. They need space to figure all of that out. When your daughter throws a tantrum to your advice, I would calmly say to her, “Listen honey, you asked me for my opinion, and I gave it to you. You don’t have to follow it or like it but this tantrum is not cool.” Then leave it alone.

Question 4: How do you help a teen develop empathy? My 14yr old daughter doesn’t seem to have any!

Karen’s Answer: The definition of empathy is, “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Some people are better at empathy than others. It may not be her strong suit. I think it takes a mature person to understand and share the feelings of another person. Most teens only see their side of a situation, and the world revolves around them. But, you can coach her. Ask her how does it make her feel when certain situations happen to her. That helps her put herself in another person’s shoes. Empathy is looking at a situation through the eyes of the other person, then saying, “I understand, I know that must be hard.”

If you have a question about motherhood we want to hear it, so make sure you visit birdsonawiremoms.com/askkaren and tune in each week to see if we cover your question. You can also find on us on Instagram and Facebook, so follow us over there and send questions our way on social media as well.

Moms, we know your time is precious. Thank you for spending it with us. We hope you feel encouraged, equipped and most importantly—the peace of God. You can receive encouragement each week by tuning in to Wire Talk; so subscribe today and be sure you never miss an episode.