A lot of moms put their needs on the sideline when their children are young- but when those children get older, a mom can’t even recognize what her needs are anymore. Self care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health, and it’s something we need to make time for as moms.

Question 1: When I hear “self-care” I roll my eyes a little. Self care makes me think of massages or spa days or shutting out my kids and spouse while I eat chocolate and watch a rom-com. Can you define what you mean by “self-care”? What is self-care, and what is self-care not? 

Karen’s Answer: Self care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.

In a mom’s world, we are really good at putting others before ourselves. Think about it, from the moment you bring the baby home from the hospital their needs are above your own. Of course they are because the baby is helpless. But, as time passes, and that baby grows up, we continue to put the children ahead of ourselves. Seasons in life pass, and a lot of moms, not all, but most, have put their needs on the sidelines to where the mom can’t recognize what their needs are. In my opinion this isn’t good for the mom.  

Massages/spa days, shutting family out and eating chocolates and watching a rom-com sounds wonderful, but not very practical on a regular basis.  What I am talking about it is daily taking care of yourself to keep up your own health and mental state.  Self care will look different for different people.  What works for me may not work for you.  But, finding things that pour into you as a woman and fills you up a little to keep you in a healthy place so you will be a better mom for your children.  These are little daily deposits in YOU. Could be exercise, reading a book, taking a hot bath, watching a show at night just to unwind.  I think self-care is need for ALL moms.

Question 2:  What does self-care look like in a season when you have little kids and a job and a husband and a home to prioritize? I have heard you say, “you can’t pour from an empty cup” but honestly, I can’t even find my cup right now! 

Karen’s Answer: In the busiest seasons you will have to be intentional on carving out time for yourself.  Honestly, when I was in that season, Greg would offer to give the children a bath and do bedtime routine and I would gladly do the dishes and clean up the kitchen.  That was self care for me.  To turn on music, and wash/dry the dishes in a peaceful kitchen with no one pulling on me, saying “mommy” 500 times.  That was exactly what I needed. Some nights, if I finished early I would go outside and just sit in silence and that was wonderful.  Other times self-care is just not sharing my piece of cake but eating every last bite myself.  Think about just creating some space that is just for you, no one else, because you are worth it. In an ideal world, what types of things give you joy? They can be large or small.

Question 3:  I would love to take better care of my physical health (exercising regularly and eating better) but it just feels like it’s always the thing that gets dropped because I’m too tired to think about one more thing. Any tips for truly making my health a priority?

Karen’s Answer:  Make yourself a priority.  Before you plan your meals for the family, plan your meals first.  As far as exercise, carve out time for yourself, and make it a priority.  Plan on exercising during nap time, when the children go to school. IF you have littles, go to the park with them and walk them or ride bikes with them.  I used to take Kelsey on a bike ride every afternoon to get some exercise in or pull her in the wagon.  Get creative!

Question 4: There are parts of me that I know would benefit from some “self-care” - like prioritizing my love for music by committing the time and resources to getting back into playing piano. But then I also want to make more time for my friends this year and get back into the Word more often. I guess what I’m saying is I get motivated to do all the things and then I get overwhelmed by all the things and in the end, I do none of the things. :) How do I break this cycle??

Karen’s Answer: Instead of adopting all of them, pick one and focus on that until it becomes a habit, then try to incorporate another one.  It takes a while to learn to carve time for yourself. Out of all the things you listed, which one of those speaks to you the most? Choose that and go for it! Keep at it and don’t give up. You need to pour into you, so that you continue to grow as a person. I’m not sure why moms need permission to be selfish with themselves, but I am giving you permission, be selfish today, and pour into you!

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