Building Character in Your Daughters
I LOVE girls, and I loved raising my three girls! Girls bring joy to a home and they are great friends for a mom once they become adults! But raising a girl can be tricky! Here are four tips to keep in mind when those tricky times come your way:
1- You are NOT their friend, until they become an adult.
It is tempting, especially in the tween and teen years, to let them have their way just to keep the peace even when you know you should be saying no. But momma, you have to be the parent! They will have many friends during their childhood and adolescence, but only one mom! Don’t abdicate your role out of fear. You will have a stronger adult friendship one day if you hold on to your parental responsibility and let go of the desire for your daughter to like you all the time while she’s in your home.
2- Keep in mind what can be cute when they are 3 years old doesn’t “grow up” to be cute.
A sassy little girl stomping her foot or bossing her parents around comes quickly to mind. That attitude can seem cute and precocious, but imagine that same girl at 13 or 23 and see if it still seems cute…usually it doesn’t! Keep the end game in mind and parent for the long haul, not the short term.
3- Focus on their heart over their looks.
We all think our girls are adorable, but my mother used to say, “pretty is as pretty does,” and it’s true. Help her see that you value her character just as much (and even more) than her physical looks. Behavior that is rewarded is repeated. So compliment her on her kindness, her courage, her perseverance, and her thoughtfulness often. She’ll be eager to please you and will continue to work on displaying good character. This helps her value and develop her inner beauty as well as outer beauty.
4- Don’t let them grow up too fast.
In a fast-paced world spinning out of control, dare to pump the breaks. Your daughter may think she is old enough to handle certain things, but she needs you to track her pace. Be cautious when you allow new privileges like a phone, social media, and dating. It’s really hard to take away those privileges once they have been granted - although it’s not impossible! You may need to do just that, to take away a privilege you granted too soon and ask for forgiveness in allowing her to have certain things or do certain activities she was not mature enough to handle. See #1, be the parent!
Want more on raising girls? Check out these BOAW resources:
Blog Posts:
Teaching Her to Combat Lies With Scripture
Equipping Our Daughters to Respond to Mean Girls
Wire Talk episodes:
WT 11: How Do I Raise My Daughter?
WT 110: Raising Little Girls & WT 111: Raising Older Girls