Boundaries During the Holiday Season

We talk about boundaries A LOT here at Birds on a Wire. I think it’s one of those things that we keep coming back to because as moms, we want to be nice. We want to be liked, and we usually want to keep the peace. So the thought of erecting a boundary that could come across as mean and that might rock the boat unsettles a lot of us.

But you know that boundaries are essential in life. Boundaries around a building keep the good in and the bad out. Just like a fence around a yard, boundaries protect and define what is yours – and what is not theirs.

Don’t be surprised if a boundary you set makes a family member angry. That’s usually because they are not getting their way anymore. So when they push back, stop for a minute and recognize that you are not responsible for this other person’s anger. As for your feelings of guilt, ask yourself the question, “Am I committing a sin?” If the answer is no, then any guilt is false guilt. You might even need to write down, “I have a right to establish healthy boundaries and I am not responsible for others’ reactions to these boundaries.”

If you’re married, talk to your spouse about the boundaries you want to set up for this holiday season. Are you visiting family or not this year? Are you doing things the way you’ve always done them or are a few changes necessary for the season you’re in as a family? Establishing healthy boundaries will help keep you from becoming burnt out during a time of year that should be rightly focused on the gift of Christ.