Making Your Husband #1

Those of you moms who are married are fortunate to have a helper and companion along this crazy road of parenthood. But at times, prioritizing your husband can seem like just another task on your to-do list for the day. So how can you show your husband that he is important to you amidst the non-stop demands of mothering?

Date nights are an obvious answer and they are definitely something to prioritize, but even simpler than that is making your child aware that their dad is your #1 relationship, even before them. This may feel harsh, but do not let your child interrupt you and your husband when you are talking and be sure you find ways to communicate that, “Dad is the most important.” Saying things like, “I’m making this dinner because it’s Daddy’s favorite,” or “you guys are going to get in bed early tonight so Mom and Dad can spend time alone together,” makes it clear to your child who your priority is, and it will make your husband feel great to be prioritized.

Pay special attention to how you say good-bye and hello. Try giving your husband a six-second hug before you leave for work in the morning. Studies have shown that after six seconds of hugging your body starts releasing oxytocin – which is associated with lower blood pressure, less fatigue and stress-reduction. Sounds like a great way for anyone to start their day to me! And how do you greet your husband when you both get home in the evening? Try giving him a big kiss – you may be surprised at how little you really kiss him anymore.

Try to focus on the things your husband does well, whether it’s being an incredible leader at work or a wise advisor to his friends and tell him you are proud of him. Be his biggest cheerleader! Men want to feel respected by their wives and if you aren’t cheering him on, believe me – someone else will!

Watching our words when we are speaking to our husbands is also critical. Do you speak to him as though he’s another child or do you talk to him as a peer, a confidant, a friend? No one wants to spend time with someone who treats him like a child.

Finally moms, tell your husband that you love him every day – and beyond just, “I love you,” tell him WHY you love him. Naming specific reasons out loud will even serve as a reminder to you of why you married this man and decided to have a child with him in the first place.

I know it’s not easy all the time, but making the effort to keep your husband #1 in your life will bring peace to your marriage and give your kids a sense of stability. Let me know if you try any of these tips this week!