Overcoming Newborn Mom Isolation
Life with a newborn at home can be isolating.
When the time comes to birth and bring home your baby, you’ll need to make adjustments in your lifestyle. Your newborn will demand a lot of attention, so it might be hard for you to socialize with other people at first. I know firsthand how this goes! This can lead to feelings of isolation—and that’s totally normal! There are ways you can help fight against these feelings, but most importantly don't hesitate to ask for help.
It’s important for us as new moms to remind ourselves that life with a newborn is unpredictable. We might feel like we know what our baby needs most of the time, but we don’t always have all the answers, and our little ones can definitely surprise us on occasion. Because life with a baby is never cut-and-dry, we should let go of any rigid expectations that could cause stress or anxiety.
It's hard to have a social life when you have a newborn.
It's hard to have a social life when you have a newborn. You never know if your baby will be fussy, or if your baby will need to eat right before you're supposed to leave the house.
To maintain social connections with friends and family while staying home most of the time:
Make plans with people via text message or email. It's less stressful than talking on the phone because you can read and respond when you can.
Have no shame about canceling plans at the last minute because of your newborn. You're doing what you need to do!
Invite them over. Have them stop by for a low-key get-together during nap time or a quick cup of coffee while going for a walk. It's ok to share that the gathering might not go as planned and you might need to be flexible with timing.
What to do if you're feeling lonely after having a baby?
Talk with another new mom. You don't have to be super close, but it will make you feel less alone to just spend time with someone who’s experiencing the same thing as you.
Get out of the house for a bit and go somewhere! Even something as small as sitting outside or grabbing the mail can change your scenery.
Schedule a phone call with your best friend or a close family member that lives far away. It might be nice to talk to someone outside of the situation who you can really let loose and vent to.
Find a mom group in your area through online listings or through local hospitals/church organizations! Or start a BOAW Group. Being able to connect with other moms is an invaluable resource for both emotional and practical support.
Join our BOAW Moms Facebook Group! Our supportive community is filled with new moms, moms of children and teens, and moms of adult children. We are here to answer any questions, provide a listening ear, and support you in your journey.
Make sure you're getting enough sleep and staying hydrated.
Get as much sleep as you can (easier said than done, right?).
Drink water throughout the day.
While the baby is asleep, try to do something that brings you JOY or relaxation. This could be reading a book, listening to music, cooking a meal, or taking a bath. Consider turning off your phone and social media notifications during this time so you can truly focus on yourself and your needs without distractions. If you are struggling to sleep at night regardless of whether the baby is sleeping or not, consult with a medical professional for assistance and advice on how to improve your sleep quality.
Find things that make your heart happy, even for just 15 minutes.
Practicing self care will help you be the best version of yourself. As moms, we put so much of our time and energy into caring for our family that we often forget to take time to invest in ourselves. When I don't take care of myself, my mind and body suffer. I'm more likely to become stressed and moody when I haven't been practicing self love and have forgotten to do something that makes me happy.
Something I tell moms like you in hard seasons is to TRUST and REST in God. Here's a simple formula to keep in mind as you work on rest and self-care:
Trust + Dwell + Cultivate = Rested Spirit
Trust in the Lord
Dwell in the land, rest in God
Cultivate Faithfulness (this means to do the next right thing)
Trust in the Lord and do good; Live in the land and cultivate faithfulness. (Psalm 37:3)
New mom isolation doesn't have to last forever.
The first step in dealing with mommy isolation and loneliness is to acknowledge that you’re not alone. Many moms face this feeling, although each feels it differently. Some signs of feeling isolated are:
You find yourself crying for no reason.
You feel a sense of shame or embarrassment over how you look, think you smell bad, or worry about how others perceive you.
You don’t want to go out, even to run necessary errands like grocery shopping or going to the doctor’s office.
If you are struggling with these feelings after trying different methods to combat isolation, reach out to your doctor or your child's pediatrician. Additional support may be beneficial during this time and a trusted professional can help. I know it's a big step to reach out.
You are doing a great job! Be kind to yourself as you learn and relearn about your baby, your new family, and yourself as a mother. We are here for you!
Birds on a Wire is a ministry that provides Godly, practical advice so that moms at any stage can feel celebrated, encouraged and equipped to parent with confidence. Karen Stubbs founded Birds on a Wire in 2011 to share her experiences as a mom and guide others through their motherhood journey. Through Mom Studies, books, the Wire Talk podcast, The Perch blogs, BOAW groups, in person events, and an active BOAW Mom's Group on Facebook, BOAW creates a welcoming community for moms to connect on topics that are meaningful to them. Follow us on social on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn or learn more about us at birdsonawiremoms.com.
Postpartum Depression Resource: https://www.postpartumdepression.org/resources/