WT 143: How to Lead Other Moms Well
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Did you know moms all over the U.S. and even across the world gather together weekly or monthly in small groups to learn from Birds on a Wire studies together? On today’s Wire Talk we’re answering questions from moms who host BOAW groups. Everything from, “how do I get a new group going?” and “how can I get moms to open up?” to “what do I do when I need a break from leading but don’t want the group to end?” Tune in to hear the advice Karen has for our BOAW host moms – maybe you’ll be inspired to host a BOAW group yourself!
Question 1: Can you talk about Birds on a Wire groups just a bit? I’d love to be IN a group, but feel intimidated by the idea of STARTING a group.
Karen’s Answer: I can see how it would be intimidating, and for that reason we at BOAW have made tried our best to make it SO easy! Literally ALL you have to do is invited a few people, and plug in a DVD and BOAW does the rest. I do the teaching, we have a workbook that gives the questions, and all the leader has to do is facilitate the questions. There is no homework, by design, because I’ve found moms don’t have time for homework or reading. It is so simple. My friend, Mandy from Montana was intimidated too to start. She didn’t feel she had anything to offer. After she started, she texted me and said, it was so easy! I think satan puts that thought in our minds to keep us from the benefits of having community with other moms. Isolation is the way for the enemy to get to a mom.
Question 2: For groups that have been really successful, what are those leaders doing well? We have a group that has been going for 8 weeks now and I want to keep it up!
Karen’s Answer: Be transparent as the leader, don’t make moms feel like you have all the answers all the time. Be “real”. Also, just love the other moms. Be available to listen. Listening to someone is very valuable. Walk with Jesus, and He will shine through you, when he does people will be drawn to your group. Honestly, just pray and give God this group you are leading, ask Him to keep it going. You know that is what I do with BOAW even to this day. I acknowledge every morning, this is God’s ministry, not mine. That helps take the pressure off of us, and helps us hold it with open hands.
Question 3: I’m an older mom (my kids are grown and I’m a grandmother to 8 now!) and I recently led my first BOAW group with younger moms at my church. I love them, but man are they hard to pin down! They kept asking for this type of group within our church and many “joined” but then half of the time we’d only have 3 or 4 moms show up to our monthly meeting. Any recommendations for making it easier for moms to commit to or how to encourage them to prioritize this kind of group?
Karen’s Answer: GREAT question!!!! Honestly, it’s a priority that moms have to make for themselves, but I’ve learned over the years that is the Holy Spirit’s work to press on their hearts, my job is to just love the ones that come through the door. Of course, I always love pouring into moms and the more the merrier, but sometimes the smaller number is better. I remember back in the basement days, we were doing wonderful but one night I only had one mom show up. I was so discouraged. The mom that was there, tried to back out saying she was wasting my time. I told her that was nonsense, my children were all taken care of. We went out on my deck, to talk and she poured out her heart, which was breaking and just needed one on one time. God knew. I believe He orchestrated it all. Be open to what God is doing behind the scenes and pray like crazy for the moms in your group! Pray and be patient.
Question 4: I have loved leading my group (we have done 4 of your studies) but to be honest, I am ready to NOT lead a study for a season and I feel like the moms in my group just won’t let me go! Any suggestions?
Karen’s Answer: If your group is not ready to let you go, you must be an amazing leader . I have seen this happen, and therefore, it’s a good idea to select an apprentice and say from the beginning of the group, that eventually you will split. In the best scenario from a BOAW viewpoint would be that the groups keep multiplying so more moms are reached. I think any mom can lead a BOAW group because we have made it so easy for them. But, for this lady that wrote in the question, I would just tell the group that we all have different seasons in our life and where you have loved leading them through four studies, you are wanting to take a break and focus on a few things in your own life during the next season. If I were you, you could pick a few ladies in your group and encourage them to take the reins to lead.I did experience this very thing. When I first started in my basement, I was leading a group through NP ministries. The NP model is that an apprentice must be selected and after 18 months to two year the group splits. I picked an amazing mom, Vicki Dukes to apprentice with me. She stayed with our group for over a year, and when it was time for us to split, no one wanted to split, plus Vicki said she did not want to lead. So, I kept all the moms and a few years later, I officially started BOAW. So, God was behind that as well.
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