WT 203: The Bottom Line During the Middle School Years
Today on Wire Talk Karen and Sunny are talking middle schoolers. These middle school years are when your child is trying desperately to figure out who they are. If you only take one thing away from this conversation, that’s the thing I hope you remember! Middle school is a time of transition and it’s a time when as moms, we need to lean in and pay attention to who they ARE, not who we want them to be.
Links from today’s show:
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Question 1: What’s the Bottom Line for our kids during their middle school years?
Karen’s Answer: Middle school are the years that a child is trying to figure out WHO they are. These years are hard, filled with lots of emotions and lots of drama. Most middle schoolers are extremely insecure, so tread lightly. Give your child room to figure out who they are, or their identity for example: are they a leader or a follower, are they introvert or extrovert, do they like math or art, do they like sports or theater? In sports do they like team sports or individual sports. Are they messy or organized. Do they like to read or write, or watch tv and go to the movies, do they like to be outside. Help your child learn about themselves. And it’s okay if your child is completely different as you as a mom.
We have hopefully set up a good foundation in teaching our child about authority and now we use our influence as a mom to really dive into teaching our children.
Question 2: What milestones are our kids hitting during this season?
Karen’s Answer: These are transitioning years. So don’t focus on ‘arriving’ somewhere at this age. They are on a journey, heading into a direction. Hormones are shifting, God is a good God, but now they realize that life is not always good, so how do you answer that question? Other children are mean, bullying can play a part. Anxiety and depression are rampant.
This is where they can start to get a faith of their own.
This age is usually when they might have attraction feelings for another person.
Question 3: What are common things that moms get distracted by in this season?
Karen’s Answer: We are easily distracted as parents by appearances during these years. For instance, my child is sloppy, doesn’t want to dress nice or neat anymore. Or we get worried about friends group, music they listen to , we worry if they are going to fall into the wrong crowd. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be paying attention to these things in our child’s life, but try not to make one thing a bigger deal than it is. There is such a fine line.
Look at it that your child is normal in figuring out who they are. Middle school age is awkward. I used to call no man’s zone. They smell!
Question 4: What questions should we be asking our kids during this season?
Karen’s Answer:
Ask: “What do you like this person as a friend. Tell me about them.” “Where did you meet this friend, what do y’all have in common?” “What was your favorite thing about today?” “Did anyone hurt your feelings today? “
Ask questions that will engage your child in conversation, not shut them down. Try to keep an open mind as a parent, keep the communication open. Don’t ask yes or no questions!
Question 5: Who else is involved in keeping us and our kids on track during this season? Who should we be asking for help during this stage?
Karen’s Answer: I asked small group leaders, teachers, church leaders, anyone who my daughter/son connected with as an adult, I asked them to pour into my child during this season.
Show Credits: hosted by Karen Stubbs with Sunny Williams, written & produced by Katie Leipprandt, edited by Kyle Cummings
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