WT 227: The Messy Middle School Years
These are the ‘no-man’s land’ years mommas, when our kids are caught in between childhood and adolescence. They are all insecure and they are all searching for their identity. Listen in today for some big picture thoughts about middle school in general as well as the practical answers you can always expect from Karen.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Start a BOAW group in your community!
Plugged in movie review site from Focus on the Family
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 - “What is Love?”
Question 1: My 12 year old daughter and I are close - she loves long talks and confides in me often. She has a friend at church who has secretly dated boys behind her parents back and now at 12 is planning a way to have some privacy and start kissing her current boyfriend. This young lady’s mom is a friend of mine. I am 100% sure she has no idea what her daughter is doing. Is it appropriate for me to let her know? I usually don’t share anything my daughter confides in me. But I care about this young girl and her mom. Especially with talk of kissing. I am tempted to talk to my friend. Would that be appropriate? Or should I just take it to the Lord and keep my nose out of it?
Question 2: How do I handle my kids watching TV/Movies that have questionable content? I was raised in a bubble and couldn't even watch Saved By the Bell when I was in middle school! But my husband was allowed to watch almost every movie including Chuckie at age 5! I want to find a place somewhere in the middle where my kids can watch things that their friends are watching... but I want to not just hope that the language goes over their heads, but possibly discuss? So what do I say? Help!
Question 3: My 13 y.o. Son is my middle child, in between an older sister and younger brother. Admittedly, I am a perfectionist and both my husband and I are pretty authoritarian. When he was younger, my son was very kind, sensitive and loving, but the middle school years have changed him quite a bit. He’s reactive, quick to yell, quick to get mad nowadays. Also he plays victim a lot (“life is unfair’, you never appreciate anything, your expectations are too high’). The reality we are dealing with – is a lack of motivation, lack of work ethic, sneaky behavior (lying and taking his electronics, without permission to play games.), no goals, not being responsible for his actions (he feels school work stays at school, and he tries hard not to bring any work home), for the last two years I have barely seen him doing any home work.
In elementary school I was definitely over-involved with his schoolwork, staying on top of him holding his hand when it came to assignments and homework. In 6th grade – he had great grades. But moving to middle school – his grades went down. Now in 8th grade, he gets Cs and Ds. Not acceptable at all! And in my opinion it’s just a lack of practice. What can I do to make him uncomfortable and lead to a change of behavior so he does not continue going down this path?
Question 4: Our oldest is thirteen and our youngest is four. I sometimes refer to our seasons of parenting to others as “preschool and puberty.” Some days it gets hairy figuring out what emotion(s) might be around the corner for our teenager and how to address them appropriately all while attempting to avoid our youngest potentially getting negatively influenced by all the changes. How can we possibly explain to the youngest if he has questions why his big brother is being disrespectful/disobedient, or crying one minute and apologizing the next?
And how can we explain to our oldest the importance of being a mentor all while not downplaying what he’s going through?
Show Credits: hosted by Karen Stubbs with Sunny Williams, written & produced by Katie Leipprandt, edited by Kyle Cummings
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