WT 297: How Do I Help Foster My Teen's Faith?
One of our primary roles in our child's life is to point them toward God, but their relationship with God is just that, it's their relationship. Your child is not an extension of you, and for better or worse, you are not in control! In this conversation we talk about the importance of being a prayer warrior for your child and how to approach them in a winning way.
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Question 1: What are good questions to open up my son spiritually? Is he just being cool and I’m at the lowest end of who he wants to talk to? (He’s 15) I hear myself sounding annoying any way I bring up Christ but still I pray for his day, et. I’m not afraid of doubts and want realness but he is closed off in this area.
Karen’s Answer: Well, if you think you are sounding annoying 9/10 you probably are. Sorry! I’ve been there too. I used to pray that God would reveal himself to my teen and show them things that I never could. Your son’s relationship with God is just that his relationship. There is nothing wrong with encouraging him, going to church, praying, etc. But, always keep in mind, God got Moses attention with a burning bush. God will never give up on your son, you be your son’s biggest prayer warrior! Think about sharing with your son on occasion what God is teaching you and doing in your life. That way it’s not directly related to him, but your life.
Question 2: When your teen doesn’t want to talk but you know something is going on, what do you do? Let it go and hope for the best? Try and figure it out? Use punishment?
Karen’s Answer: I don’t think punishment is the answer. I would just tell your teen that you are there for them and ready to listen whenever they are ready. They may not even know how to express what it is they are dealing with and it may take time. It’s normal for teens not to share everything with their parents, that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Pray for them, pray for a small group leader or mentor to reach out and they will open up to them. Being a parent of a teen we have to be patient, and realize we are not in control. It is hard, but it’s reality.
Question 3: My 13 yr old is showing signs of limited attention span, sloppiness, laziness. How do I encourage and & redirect without sounding like a clanging cymbal?
Karen’s Answer: I’d let his teachers/coaches speak into that in his life. It is very normal for a 13 year old to be this way. I learned to close my children’s doors and not to sweat the small stuff. Have you tested them to see if they have ADHD? That might explain the limited attention span. Abby only had the attention span for 20 min and I eventually had to accept it and move on.
Question 4: How do you teach your teen to stand up for their beliefs about sexuality and gender and not get swayed by a secular worldview?
Karen’s Answer: Well, I taught my children to love others regardless of their beliefs. The way it’s always worked in my life, is I have never had influence with anyone until I had first built a relationship with them. I live my life the way I feel God directs me, but obviously I realize that not everyone shares my beliefs. So, rather than getting into a theological debate all the time, and stirring up wild emotions, I just live my life and love people. IF God opens a door for me to have a conversation on a particular situation, I for sure walk through that door, but I do it in love. That philosophy is what I taught my children too.
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