WT 318: Newborn Mom Isolation
There are all kinds of books and podcasts that aim to prepare you for childbirth or breastfeeding, but one thing that’s hard to prepare for is the isolation you’ll experience in those early days as a newborn mom. From how to "get out there" with a newborn nap schedule to overcoming FOMO because you're breastfeeding all the time, today Karen shares her wisdom for the newest moms in our community.
Mentioned on today’s episode:
Start a BOAW Group and go through Mom Core together
Question 1: I just had a baby 4 months ago and while I was pregnant, we moved to a new house in a new city, so I know very few people where I live now. Staying at home has been harder than I thought and one reason is because I’m lonely! With the baby’s schedule, it is hard to get out and do much. Our families both live out of state. Any suggestions for finding my groove?
Karen’s Answer: You are right, the newborn stage is a lonely time. I’m glad you found Wire Talk and are connecting with us over the podcast. Suggestions: you could go on our BOAW private FB page and share just what you did, and what city you moved to and see if there are any BOAW moms in your area. At church maybe post about starting a BOAW group in your home, at night, while the baby is sleeping, you could start off meeting once a month, just to see how it goes before you commit to more weeks. (If you do this I would suggest starting with the Mom Core curriculum) Try to make a friend at church, and at least you can text during the week to check in on each other. I would walk Kelsey in the stroller in late afternoons when she was a baby, she loved it, and I would get to talk to the neighbors which was nice.
Question 2: I have a 3year old boy and a new 3month old baby, whom I am breastfeeding. There were many things I anticipated to experience in motherhood based off advice and observing others, but one thing I didn’t anticipate was feeling so left behind.
My husband does a GREAT job spending time w/ our 3yo on the weekends, and I find myself jealous about the fun things they get to do together while I’m home w/ baby. I KNOW breastfeeding is our choice (and we are not doing a bottle, which again is our choice), and I LOVE the responsibility of caring for the baby, but my heart so wishes to be two places at once. Has anyone else felt this way?
Karen’s Answer: (from Facebook, years ago) I used to feel the same way. It is real but it’s just a season. I tried to use that time to relax myself and soak in the quiet. I will say , one on one time is rare when you have more than one child. But, I get it. I was just like you. Maybe it’s the Yellow in us
Question 3: I have a kindergartner and a second grader AND an almost 9 month old baby.I was getting the itch to go back to work but then we had our daughter (best surprise!) Right now, I’m stuck in our house because of her naps. I know once we go down to one nap, I can get out to go to the gym and to bible study more. What do other moms do to stay busy during the day besides clean?I really want to use this time well, but honestly, I feel a bit isolated right now and unsure of what to do with myself!
Karen’s Answer: Some moms do projects around the house, some read, I used to do exercise videos when I only had one in the house and they were taking naps. Some days I would work on dinner early, and to be honest, some days I would just lay on the sofa, eat potato chips and watch a show. ☺ Just keeping it real ladies!
Question 4: I am a Mom of a 21 month old sweet yellow boy and I am 13 weeks pregnant with crazy 1st TRI nausea and fatigue! I worked full time as a nurse before we had our son and dropped to PRN working less than 10 hrs a week. My husband is amazing and supportive. We love our church but seem to be the ones who reach out to our age group without having much outreach to us.
With all that said, I’ve never felt so lonely in my entire life! The friends I’ve reached out to are hit and miss due to understandable busy schedules. I’m just so lonely and I’ve never experienced this kind of aloneness…Any advice!?
Karen’s Answer: I hate to be like a broken record, but I would seriously think about starting a BOAW group. It’s SO easy, and builds instant community. Both of my daughters have started groups, one in CA and Emily has done a few groups here in Ga, and both girls said how much they enjoyed talking with other moms, and then keeping in touch throughout the week. If you don’t want to start a group, but would like to join one, go to the private BOAW fb page and ask if there are any open groups in your area. Other than that look for a MOPS group in your area, or a CBS or BSF Bible study group, those were always good outlets for me to find friends.
If you have a question about motherhood we want to hear it, so make sure you visit birdsonawiremoms.com/askkaren and tune in each week to see if we cover your question. You can also find on us on Instagram and Facebook, so follow us over there and send questions our way on social media as well.
Moms, we know your time is precious. Thank you for spending it with us. We hope you feel encouraged, equipped and most importantly—the peace of God. You can receive encouragement each week by tuning in to Wire Talk; so subscribe today and be sure you never miss an episode.