Today we are talking about how to address the needs of very different kids growing up under one roof. We cover personalities, educating your kids about their differences, and something most moms struggle with - bickering! 

Mentioned on today's episode:

WT 283 - Understand the Personality Colors 

Colors Quiz

Personality Strengths and Weaknesses Chart

More Personality Resources from BOAW Moms

Wire Talk is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Question 1: How do I balance the needs of my VERY different kids? For example: One of mine likes silence on our 30 min drive to school, one likes to sing to every song. Leads to fights every. single. morning. I do M/W/F we sing, T/Th we are quiet. But it’s oneeeee more thing to keep up with and one kid always is mad. Grrr!

Karen’s Answer:  Honestly you are doing a GREAT job! That is exactly what I would do and the reason being is, family and relationships are about compromise. No one should get their way every time. My kids used to fight on who sat in the front. So, we all took turns and every week we would rotate through. Compromise is the key in my opinion. Children are going to be children, so we as parents need to balance the situation as best as we can.

Question 2: From Amy: I have two girls who are opposites in almost every way and constantly get on each other's nerves and bicker night and day! How do I parent this? Some days I feel like I am about to LOSE MY MIND. 

Candace also has a similar question. She wants to know: How to manage bickering siblings (it’s nonstop) with creative discipline responses. My girls are two years apart (7 and 5) and are essentially practicing their verbal aggression skills at home with each other instead of being each other’s advocates and buddies.

Karen’s Answer: I think it is always good to educate them on the temperaments, and teach them their strengths and weaknesses.  Advocates and Buddies take time, it is cultivated over time.  Also keep in mind your girls have to mature, and that just takes time.  Keep teaching moms, reward them when they treat each other kindly.  As a family, listen to the temperament podcasts and start learning about each other

Question 3: What tips do you have for fostering friendship among siblings? 

Karen’s Answer: Treat your siblings like your friends.  

Question 4: My blue and yellow child are like oil and water. They just do not get one another. How can I help them appreciate their differences? 

Karen’s Answer: Teach them, show them that together the Blue and the Yellow can conquer the world. They are not in competition, but together the complete package.  Go through the podcast of temperaments with them. 

Question 5: I have two wonderful boys (6 and 2&1/2). My oldest loves attention, talking, and is always looking for a playmate. My youngest is the opposite: quiet, plays well independently, and doesn't want his brother in his space all the time. They play together really well for a time, but when our 2 year old doesn't want to play anymore, our 6 year old does things to intentionally aggravate his brother. More often than not, trying to separate the two of them leads to a meltdown, a time out, and loss of privileges. It's a never ending cycle. How do I teach my oldest to respect his brother's boundaries? I think I must yell "hands off your brother" in my sleep at this point.

Karen’s Answer: I think the good news here is that your oldest is the one that has the issue.  With him being 6 years old you can reason with him and that is a good thing. I think what I would do is sit down with your oldest son and approach it in a different way.  You as a mom need to figure out what would bother your six year old.  Then you can tell him that when his younger brother needs some space, it’s just like when he __________, (fill in the blank). Just say, “We all live in this house together, and have to respect each other’s needs.  You can also give your six year old a time when he can play with his brother.  (For instance, “Let’s give your brother some space and in an hour you can play together again.”)  My last suggestion is to let the six year old “help” you with some chores or something in the house, so at least he is with someone. Try to be proactive not reactive.

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