Coming Out Of A Stressful Season With A Stronger Marriage
When we, as moms, are under a lot of stress, it’s often our husbands we take it out on! And while that’s understandable, it isn’t good for your relationship long term! So today I want to share a few tips with you so your marriage can flourish and not flounder during stressful seasons.
#1 Spend some quality time together.
I know what you’re thinking - uh…we spend all day, every day together. But quantity time and quality time aren’t the same thing. Pick a time in the coming week (it could be lunch time these days!) and figure out how to spend some quality time together. Listen to this recent Wire Talk episode for some creative date ideas that don’t require leaving home!
#2 Ask your spouse, what is one thing I can do to encourage you this week?
Like Greg talked about on the podcast this week, maybe it’s as simple as keeping one area of your home tidy. Maybe it’s giving them the night off by cooking dinner or taking over bedtime so they can rest instead. Maybe it’s sex! Ask the question, listen to their response without getting defensive or making excuses, and consider how it would benefit your marriage if you did that one thing.
#3 Communicate your needs assertively.
If you need alone time or if you need time out of the house, speak up! If the constant kitchen duty is wearing you thin, let your spouse know. Pick a good time for you and your spouse (when things are not tense) and share what’s on your heart. If you’re unsure how they’ll react, preface your request by saying, “I have something to ask but I’m not sure how you’ll react, so I need you to be safe.” Then share what you need using non-emotional language. For example: “being home all day every day is wearing on me and I’d like to get out and go for a walk or a drive by myself sometime this week. Is that something you can help me make happen?” If you work on doing #1 and #2 first, I think the odds are good your spouse would love to help meet your needs.
We know this season is full of uncertainties, but one thing you can control is how you love and treat your spouse!
For more on communicating well in marriage - read this post.