Why Does The Enneagram Matter?
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
If you’ve been hanging around Birds on a Wire for any length of time, you’ve heard me talk about the “colors” and how important I think it is that we all become students of our children. I also think it’s important to be a student of ourselves, of our own personalities and how God has wired us!
That’s why I was so excited to have Beth McCord join us on Wire Talk recently to have a discussion about the Enneagram. The Enneagram dives into the “why” we do what we do, by exploring the core motivation behind the actions of each number on the Enneagram. Each number’s inner working can be explained in brief by its four “Cores”":
-Core Fear
-Core Longing
-Core Weakness
-Core Need
These four “Cores” drive what we do. For example, as a number 7 on the Enneagram, my core fear is being deprived or missing out on something fun. But someone who is a 9 on the Enneagram has a core fear of being in conflict or tension with others. So we both may say yes to a girls’ night out invitation (same behavior) but our motivation for doing so may be totally different. I’m going because I don’t want to miss out on the fun, while she may be going because she’s worried that saying no will lead to tension or a conflict.
The Core longing of an 8 is to protect themselves and their inner circle while the core longing of a 1 is to have moral integrity. You start to see pretty quickly when you explore the Enneagram how those two people might behave in the same way, but their underlying motivation for their actions is different. If you don’t know much about the Enneagram, I think Beth’s website and free assessment are great places to start. If the thought of learning about 9 different numbers overwhelms you - maybe start with our simple personality quiz, the BOAW colors quiz!
As Christians, our ultimate longing should be to be conformed to the image of Christ. In Christ we can exhibit the healthiest characteristics of each number on the Enneagram and/or the best aspects of each personality color. As with any personality assessment, the value in knowing your number or your color is to let that knowledge lead you toward compassion and grace. Paul writes to the church in Colossae that as Christians, they should “put on” compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Hopefully learning about ourselves and those in our inner circle will make this easier to do. As we learn how God has wired our friends and family, our aim should be to extend grace and compassion, kindness and patience when our differences bump up against one another! Especially to those in our family!
Remember, we are ALL wired very differently and we ALL need Jesus! :)