The Magic in Meeting People Where They Are
This week on Wire Talk, author Ron Deal joined us to talk about his ministry to blended families. There were so many great moments during the conversation, I hope you’ll listen even if you’re not part of a blended family.
One thing that stood out to me was Ron’s response to the question, How do I love my future step children well? What Ron said was so practical, we can all learn from it,
“The principle is the same for how you would make a friend. If you had a new neighbor two doors down, and they just moved in and you want to go and be kind and start to meet them a little bit, what would you NOT do?
You wouldn’t go banging on their door and scream, “I’m your new best friend! Open up, I’m hungry, I’m going to get some food out of your refrigerator!” Right? That is not a way to make friendships, right?
Some stepparents are so eager to connect with their stepchildren (of any age) that they push, they shove, they kind of force their way in. It’s like, my excitement and motivation to connect with you should be equalled by your motivation to connect with me. But then if the child is like, “hey I like you, but not so fast. Back up a little bit,” that hurts the stepparent.
Okay, so how do you make a friend with the neighbor two doors down? You go and you knock on the door and you wait.
You don’t force your way in. What are you waiting on? You are waiting for them to come and say, “Hello, who is it?” Maybe they open the door and let you in- but maybe they don’t.
What if they don’t let you in? Well, You keep talking at the door, right? You try to find something you have in common. So you start talking about the neighborhood and they relax a little and crack the door open a bit and you find something else you have in common.
You find what you have in common and you start growing that relationship based on that. And maybe you find something else, and then all of a sudden you’ve got more and more and more. This is how friendships grow.
You need to approach stepchildren in the very same way. You have got to meet them where they are. And that can be frustrating for stepparents. You want ‘familyness’ quick. You want ‘bondedness’ fast. It’s not up to you.
You have to meet them where they are.
Be strategic. Be patient. And stay the course.
Keep going.
That’s the magic right there.
That’s the magic.”
Isn’t that lovely? As I listened to Ron share this approach to forging a new relationship with a stepchild, I thought, that’s just how we ought to share the Gospel as well!
As believers, what if we approached all our relationships this way?
What if in each interaction we were looking intentionally to find something in common? Something that might crack open the door to their heart just a bit?
This week, when you have a conversation with someone you don’t know very well, be on a mission to discover something you share in common. That shared interest might just crack open the door to God’s grace in their life!