WT 235: Building Your Own Family Traditions
This year the holidays might look a little different than years’ past. Managing all of the expectations (yours, your family’s, your in-laws…) can be overwhelming as a mom, so today Karen shares her thoughts on making traditions that work for you and your tribe, while letting go of all the things that truly don’t matter.
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Question 1: How do I create family traditions for my family when I never had any growing up? I’ve never seen loving, fun, family time done well and the idea overwhelms me if I’m honest.
Karen’s Answer: Don’t be overwhelmed! Your family traditions will evolve over time. But, if you want to be intentional, take some time and think about what is most important for you and your husband during the holiday season. For instance, for me, family time is the most important thing. So, traveling to see family was always super important to me. There were some Christmas’ where we ate Waffle House on the road traveling to visit grandparents. But, guess what? That became a beloved memory and the children always wanted to recreate it. Thus, a tradition was born. If opening gifts is a big deal to you, then wrap all of your gifts, even the ones from Santa. If you want your family to focus on all of the spiritual side of the holiday which is wonderful then build that in, by going to church, reading the story of Jesus’ birth, etc. I know some people make a birthday cake for Jesus to drive home the point of his birth. Bottom line is, try not to stress. ☺ There is no right or wrong way. Relax and just love your children and allow the traditions just to happen. ☺
Question 2: Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it’s all about food and not at all about presents! I love all the sweet grateful activities I see on Pinterest, but whenever I try to get my family on board (and mostly my husband) it feels forced and not at all genuine. Any suggestions for making Thanksgiving truly a time about gratitude? For reference, my kids are 6, 10 and 13.
Karen’s Answer: My best advice is to lead by example. If you want to create a grateful atmosphere in your home then you need to be that way. It doesn’t matter if your family follows or not. Eventually they will and even if they don’t, it’s okay. You will have such a happy heart because of your own gratefulness, it won’t bother you. As far as your husband, just let him be himself. ☺ As far as your children, ask them questions like “what are you grateful for this year?” or “this year has been a little difficult but what has happened that you are thankful for?” Keep in mind, you don’t have to have Pinterest type boards or crafts all over the house to create gratefulness, that starts in the heart. It starts in a place where you can’t see, but when it starts in the heart it will last forever.
Question 3: We usually spend Christmas with my family out of state, but with Covid, we aren’t planning to travel this year. What kinds of Christmas morning traditions do you have in your family that make staying at home feel different and special?
Karen’s Answer: Well, we usually wake up, and do Santa first. We tell the children to wait on the stairs and they can all come down together. Greg is usually waiting in the den for video and pictures. After everyone opens their Santa gifts, I make a big breakfast, we gather around the table and eat, and pray thanking God for the birth of His son Jesus. After breakfast we then open gifts as a family, Santa is for the children and the next round is for everyone else. Then we all go to our corners of the house, get ready for the day. Usually there is Christmas music playing in the background. Then the cooking starts and we have a big lunch usually around 1:00pm with my extended family. Wow! Now I am ready for Christmas! Try not to stress about it, your traditions will happen, and they will be your own. Once again there is no right or wrong way!
Question 4: Do you have any New Year’s traditions in your family? The start of the New Year feels big to me this year (maybe because 2020 has been such a YEAR…) and I want to do something fun with the whole family to mark the day.
Karen’s Answer: We have always gathered with another family New Years Eve night and both families cook all day and come together for dinner. We play games, eat, and just hang out until 12 a.m. and then we say Happy New Year and drink sparkling grape juice and go home. We’ve been doing that for over 15 years. I just think gathering with family and friends is the way to start any New Year!
Show Credits: hosted by Karen Stubbs with Sunny Williams, written & produced by Katie Leipprandt, edited by Kyle Cummings
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