WT 236: Managing the Needs of Multiple Children
No matter the number of kids under your roof, managing the needs of your children isn’t easy! On today’s show we are answering questions from moms who are struggling with the revolving door of need that comes with having multiple children in the house.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
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Question 1: Right now in our house we are facing an issue with all of our children wanting to talk at the same time and interrupting each other constantly. We are trying to teach them to be good listeners, how did you handle this in your home? My husband and I are realizing we have three very talkative kids and are longing for a few moments of quiet!
Karen’s Answer: That was a consistent theme in our house, so I get it! What you have to do is teach them to take turns and that is painfully SLOW! I used to literally say, “Kelsey, it’s not your turn, Emily is talking now, let her have her turn then you can talk.” I’m using Kelsey’s name, but you could insert Emily, Taylor or Abby. I would also stop all the children and say, “Hey guys, I can’t hear when you are all talking at the same time. Let’s go one at a time.” Or I’d stop everyone and say, “Everyone stop talking, Taylor, what were you saying?”
Question 2: How were you able to switch gears between personality types (reds, yellows, etc) when managing all of your kids?
Karen’s Answer: In my opinion, that is the hardest part of parenting. How did I do it? Honestly, sometimes I did it better than others. Sometimes I would be in the middle of it and think to myself, “Oops! I’m talking to my Green not my Red”. I think you just have to be very mindful of your children’s temperaments almost to when you look at them you see colors. A lot times too we as moms jump into the the “parenting” part of it, and we have to learn how to add in the “psychology” part too. That’s the hard part. That is why moms, we need to be praying, and leaning into the Lord. Take a deep breathe, and pray. Keep in mind I did it wrong a lot of the time, I apologized a lot and I learned, but it took time.
Question 3: How did you manage to make each child feel special or important with 4 kids and a traveling husband?
Karen’s Answer: Honestly, I didn’t!!! I tried, but after a while, it’s impossible. I just focused on getting through the day. I would try and make them feel special when I could but a lot of time, we were just living! This is the way I looked at it, I spent 24/7 with my children and I loved them and they were blessed to have that. My goal was once a quarter, to do something one on one, that could be an outing, special movie together, ice cream run, ride around the neighborhood or whatever. Sometimes it was a bigger something special and sometimes it was small. It doesn’t really matter, what matters is that you love and nurture your child all the time, and then they will feel special. Keep in mind, every moment doesn’t have to be magical. The point is you love consistently through the good and the bad.
Question 4: What kinds of tactics do you use for siblings that constantly bicker or fight?
Karen’s Answer: Whew boy! LOTS of conversations!!! Lots of heart searching and lots of patience. There are lots of different tactics you can use, and honestly, I used a little bit of all of them. Here are a few:
- Take away other friends and tell your children that until they learn to get along with each other it’s going to be just the two of them.
- Teach them about their colors, strengths, weaknesses, and what the other needs.
- Lots of conversations about how to love someone well.
- Making the two hold hands for a period of time, anything to create togetherness.
- Making the two do a project together, without fussing and fighting, the more they fuss and fight, they have to do another project together. (you can get a lot of housework accomplished with this one!)
- Have them tell what they “like” about the other one.
Show Credits: hosted by Karen Stubbs with Sunny Williams, written & produced by Katie Leipprandt, edited by Kyle Cummings
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