WT 237: Why Is Dinner Time The Worst?
From toddlers flinging food off high chair trays to siblings bickering during the blessing, dinner time is rife with opportunities for stress isn't it? Listen in as Karen tackles questions from moms tired of the chaos on today's episode and helps us survive meal time with her tips!
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Question 1: I have two boys, 5.5 & 2.5. Meal time is the absolute most stressful and unpleasant time of my day. I’m supposed to treasure family time around the table but I don’t. My oldest is the most distracted eater. He will sing, talk non-stop, turn around, play, get up and walk away or simply complain and not eat. Meals take FOREVER. We have tried so many things from using a timer, having him eat by himself in the dining room, implementing a no talking/making noise rule, going to his room without finishing or having a snack, taking away privileges and other things... I cannot seem to get the behavior to stop and now my youngest is starting to follow suit. I have bought countless books on manners, etc. my son knows the expectations, he knows right from wrong but...
Karen’s Answer: Whew! This one is hard, and I’m afraid there is no magical answer. They are still young, so keep that in mind. It sounds like you are doing everything right, and everything that I would do. I think if he were my son, I would keep doing what you are doing, but when you are finished, get up from the table and start to clean up. If he is still eating, let him eat. BUT, no snacks before or after dinner. I think a lot of times children aren’t really hungry for dinner, because they’ve been snacking all day. After about 2:00 I wouldn’t give any food until dinner. You can give a dessert for a reward if he behaves well during dinner. I’d also start teaching that to your 2 year old. Keep at it. School should help your 5 year old too. I would also place your husband next to him and you next to your 2 year old, keep the boys separated. ☺
Question 2: My 3 and 5 year old boys will not eat anything green!! I see other kids their age having dried seaweed for a snack and salad with dinner and my kiddos are over here in Goldfish and chicken nugget land. At what age do kids start branching out? I’d love to make a real meal for dinner one day...
Karen’s Answer: Keep introducing new things to them. I have to say, dried seaweed sounds disgusting! I wouldn’t eat that. ☺ But broccoli with ranch can be pretty good. ☺ I found that dips helped my children like certain things. I have a salad with almost every meal, and after a while, years, I noticed my children were eating the salad. Keep putting things on the table, and if your child will take one bite that is a win.
Question 3: My daughter is 9 years old and is still an insanely picky eater. At breakfast and lunch I let her make her own meals and she eats a (small) variety of foods, but I refuse to make her a special meal at dinner time. Many nights she will literally only try a bite or two of food. She is thin but not scarily underweight and active/healthy...what should I do? Will this phase pass if I just let it go? My husband and I argue about making her take bites vs ignoring her lack of eating at dinner...I don’t want to turn food into an issue for her down the road! Help!
Karen’s Answer: My pediatrician told me to have one food on the table at dinner that I know my child will like to eat. He said, that children’s stomachs are very small, it doesn’t take a lot to fill them up. Once again, I would monitor the snacks she is eating before dinner, make sure she is hungry. No desserts after dinner if she didn’t eat well. I agree I wouldn’t make her a special dinner, but put one thing on the table she likes, ex: bread and applesauce or mac n cheese.
Question 4: I listened to the podcast episode with Taylor where he talked about family dinner being one of his favorite memories of growing up and it made me simultaneously so happy and also a little sad. In our house, dinner time is anything but happy. Kids are bickering, no one is appreciative of the meal I made or even eats it most nights, my husband and I are tired and we end up snapping at kids in the middle of prayer or yelling at someone for interrupting someone else’s story. Argh! Any advice to make dinner time more peaceful around here?
Karen’s Answer: Just to be clear, what you described as your family dinners was what ours looked like most of the time. You can add in : People getting their feelings hurt, children talking over one another, my children telling me the meal is “disgusting” , etc. So, when Taylor said that, I was shocked!!!! Actually all of my children have said that. So, the point is, keep eating dinner as a family. Don’t stop no matter how hard it is, and keep in mind your children will eventually grow up and mature. It takes a while, but it does happen. ☺
Show Credits: hosted by Karen Stubbs with Sunny Williams, written & produced by Katie Leipprandt, edited by Kyle Cummings
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