WT 252: When Potty Training Isn't Working
Any toddler moms out there at their wit’s end with potty training?! In our first-ever episode on this topic, Karen and Sunny are sharing encouragement and wisdom for all those moms spending a LOT of time in the bathroom these days. The bottom line? Your sanity is just as (and maybe even more) important as wearing big kid undies.
Mentioned on today’s show:
Our Patreon exclusive podcast, Real Life Real Moms
Question 1: I'm at a loss here. Took 3 year old red yellow to the pediatrician for potty issues. None. At least in urine. Not exhibiting signs of issues but even when I ask her if she has to go she says no. She plays then pees all over. Does NOT CARE. But seriously...she is peeing every 30 to 45 minutes. I rarely have days she isn't peeing all over. I can't hover every 30 mins. She has run on her own but if I ask and take her to be sure then she kicks and screams. She is 3.5 so should I put pull ups on or keep fighting this? Is every 45 mins normal or could she have a small bladder?? We only drink water, no soda or juice.
Karen’s Answer: Some children go that often, but that does seem like a lot. Maybe you should give her a few months and when the spring hits try it again. There isn’t a rule that your child HAS to be potty trained by a certain age, and maybe she isn’t ready. I think for your sanity, I would stop for now, and try again in March/April. When you do switch over, I would keep her in underwear and not have her wear a pull up. I found that to be better.
Question 2: I’m currently on day 2 of the potty training boot camp with my 22 month old. Obviously day one felt like a complete fail and day 2 isn’t looking any better so far. My plan was to give it the 3 days and then reevaluate. If I don’t feel like he got it my plan was to wait until the summer to try again. I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 and I’m so exhausted already, I don’t think I’ll be able to give it another try until after she comes.
My question is, have you tried this method with success? If you didn’t have success, did you have success after waiting a little while? Any other helpful tips for potty training a toddler?
Karen’s Answer: I never did potty training boot camp, not sure what it is, but I will say at 22 months, that is pretty early to be potty training, and most children that potty train before a brother/sister is born, they will regress after the baby is born. Since it’s not going great, I would hit pause and try it after the baby is born and you are up for it. Maybe in the summer. The key to potty training in my opinion is to do it when you are ready!!!! If you are pregnant you do not have the energy to focus on it.
Whenever I potty trained my children I pretty much stayed home for a week, and we focused on potty training all week. I kept my children in underwear all day, with no pants on and every few hours I would ask them, “Do you want to go potty.” When they went, we would celebrate and then they would get a treat. If they made an accident I would let them know it was okay, next time just tell mommy. It’s a learning experience for both of you. ;)
Question 3: My second born who is 3.5 is a heavy GREEN with some yellow. We have been potty training since January. He used to poop on the potty all the time no problem but has only gone one day without peeing his pants. Most of the time he just does and when I ask why it is because he doesn't want to stop what he is doing. The more I try to encourage and motivate the more stubborn he gets and he’ll poop his pants on purpose.
His doctor said there was nothing wrong with him but that he was using it for control. I have tried charts, prizes big and small, stickers, treats, new undies, making him clean up, a fancy watch that chimes and buzzes every half hour-2 hours.... nothing. He knew he would lose going to preschool if he didn't potty train and it didn't make a difference. He talks a lot about being a big boy so we have been reminding him that if he is going to continue to go potty in his pants his big boy privileges (no nap, playing out in the yard with brother if mom or dad are not outside, playing downstairs by himself, play dates) will not happen. He is all about comfort, so I am honestly surprised that he hasn't found this bothersome. I am just at my wit’s end with washing 8-12 pairs of undies and pants a day.
Karen’s Answer: For your mental state, I would hit pause. :) Sorry, I know I am a broken record today. Here is the thing, if the Dr is telling you it is a control issue, then that is your clue, that it’s not working right now. Put him back in diapers, don’t do pull-ups and try it again in a few months. You cannot win a battle with potty training or making a child eat certain foods, so don’t let it be a battle. Greens can be VERY stubborn so take it away.
I would either do diapers or underwear, no in between, just let him know, “It’s your choice, I’m not arguing with you about this, but you may have to miss out on some fun things because you still wear diapers. I know you can do it, but you have to decide what you want.”
Question 4: I have a very yellow 6 year old daughter that is on day 2 of night potty training. She has always worn a pull up at night and peed in it every night. But she really wants to wear underpants at night so we thought we’d try. The last 2 nights she’s peed around 3 am comes and gets me, we change her and the sheets no yelling no big deal. But then in the morning she’s in different pjs again when she comes out. I’ve asked her if she wet the bed and she’s flat out lied to me and said no. Then I feel her bed and it’s wet.
I guess my question is: #1 if she’s peeing twice in the night is she not ready yet and I should throw in the towel and accept she’s gonna be in pull ups for a long time?
#2 how do I get her to not lie to me?! I’ve told her that there’s nothing she could ever do that I would be mad at except lying. She feels awful and cries. She doesn’t lie about other things. It’s not like her.
Karen’s Answer: She feels guilty, and doesn’t want you to be disappointed in her. I would put her back in pull ups. You can start training her by waking her up at 11pm just before you go to bed, and have her go potty, then if she can go a few weeks staying dry that is when you know she is ready. I would not let her drink anything past 6pm. If she doesn’t normally lie, I wouldn’t worry about it, and just move on. She is embarrassed.
Show Credits: hosted by Karen Stubbs with Sunny Williams, written & produced by Katie Leipprandt, edited by Kyle Cummings
HELP THE WIRE TALK PODCAST REACH MORE MOMS
Subscribe | To subscribe on iOS, go to our iTunes page and subscribe to Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs. If you're an Android user, we recommend using the Stitcher app which you can find in the Google Play store. Then, once you're in the app, search for "Wire Talk" Click the plus (+) sign to add our podcast to your Favorites list.
Leave a review | When you leave a five star iTunes review, it helps other mothers find us when they're seeking out podcasts on iTunes. Need directions? Head here.
Share with a friend | We want to encourage more moms with Wire Talk, and that’s where you come in! Share our episodes—via Facebook, email, Twitter or Instagram and help us reach more moms like you.