Do You Know Your Child's Love Language?


This week on Wire Talk we started a three part series focused on the Five Love Languages and how they can help you in parenting your child. Before age 5 I think it’s difficult to determine a child’s love language, so practice expressing your love in all 5 languages and paying attention to your child’s response. If you aren’t familiar with the 5 languages, they are:

Words of Affirmation - using words to affirm another person. Build them up, don’t tear them down.
Quality Time - simply spending time with someone. Quality, (not necessarily quantity of time) means, put down your phone and give them your full attention.
Acts of Service - doing tasks or chores for someone, helping them by “doing” for them.
Physical Touch - showing love by touching another person. A hug, a back rub, playing with their hair, scratching their back are all expressions of physical touch.
Gifts - giving tangible gifts to express love. Remember with this one, is it is the thought behind the gift that counts.

After age 5, you should start to see one or two languages that speak to your child more clearly than the others. Oftentimes, the way your child shows love to others is the way they desire to be loved. If you have a child who always climbs into your lap and is a consummate hugger/snuggler, it’s a good bet that they are physical touch. If your middle schooler empties the dishwasher or takes out the trash without being asked, I’d say acts of service is definitely their language.

If you’re unsure about your child, pay attention for a few weeks. Jot notes down in your journal or just make a mental note of when and how they show love to you or other family members. Those notes are clues you can use to determine their language and remind yourself to begin speaking to them in similar ways!