Keeping the Spark in Your Marriage


After being married for a while it is easy to get stuck in a rut. Especially in the busy years between having kids and becoming empty nesters, it’s easy for our weeks to become a blur of dividing kid duties. Who’s on drop-offs and pick-ups today and who’s in charge of dinner and diapers? It’s too easy to simply not build any excitement your marriage. But mommas, if you want to re-kindle the spark that caused you to marry your spouse in the first place, you have to fight against passively doing the same old thing every week!

Shake it up every now and then with a little creativity. Go on a date in the middle of the day while your children are at school. Drop them off and then hit up your favorite breakfast place or walk through a local hardware store or an antique market. Dream a little with your spouse! Dates don’t have to be “romantic” or expensive to restore the connection between the two of you.

Another thing I believe is important is to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt whenever possible and keep short accounts. Believe the best about them even when you don’t understand why they did something or why they are acting a certain way.

Finally, instead of focusing on everything negative your spouse does, try focusing on the positive.  Compliment, praise, and encourage them. Even if they are not doing that for you! Do it for them. In my marriage I’ve found this kind of attitude is contagious.