WT 180: Creating a Family Culture That Sticks
On today's show we're talking about the habits that bring our families together. From big, intentional practices like creating a family mission statement to fun traditions like weekly queso-fests at the local Mexican restaurant, Karen shares her thoughts on how to create a family culture that ensures your children know they belong. Whatever your family looks like, we think you'll find something in this episode that you can take and make your own.
Mentioned on the show today:
Start a new season of small group off with our Rooted study!
Question 1: Did your family have a “mission” statement or set of family values that you lived by? In Christian circles I have heard these ideas and love the thought of them, but always wonder if it’s something we would actually do or if it would just be a pretty sign I’d put up in the kitchen that we’d never really do anything with!! ;)
Karen’s Answer: Great question. To give you the short answer it is yes and no. ☺ Yes, we did design a family mission statement, and we had the BEST intentions of implementing it, but I couldn’t tell you what it was to save my life. I remember we did it after Greg got back from the second war with Iraq, the kids were 8th, 6th, 4th and 1st grade, and we thought it was a good time to do one. Greg and I put a lot of thought into it, and I believe it was really good, but that was it. I think they are a good idea, but obviously you need to get them out every so often and read them, or put it on a sign!
Question 2: My children range in age from preschooler to older teen. It can be a challenge to find activities that are both appropriate and appeal to their wide range of ages. Any ideas for fun whole family activities would be much appreciated!
Karen’s Answer: I would lean into the older teen more than the preschooler. Keeping a teenager involved and wanting to be with the family is challenging. During this season of our lives we would go see the big blockbuster movies together as a family like Pirates of the Caribbean, Marvel movies, Lord of the Rings type of movies. We would just take Abby with us. It does make the youngest grow up a little faster, but Abby was fine. One year we also found a REALLY cheap cruise with Royal Caribbean and we went as a family. The teenagers loved it and Abby had a great time as well. ☺ “Lean into the teen”.
Question 3: How do you define the Stubbs “Family Culture” and how does that determine what you say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to as a family?
Stubbs Family Culture:
We always tried to focus on family, meaning staying good with each of the family members and loving them well.
We focused on God and church. We attended church, served at church, tithed to church. God was part of our lives everyday not just on Sundays.
Greg and I always tried to put each other above our children, our children knew they were second. We believed that was the best gift we could give our children.
What we said yes and no to:
When Greg was traveling a lot, we made Stubbs Family nights, and no one could miss it
We fought hard to stat in good relationship with each other and kept short accounts.
We kept Sunday’s open for church, so the kids didn’t do sports on Sunday or other things
Greg and I said yes to date nights and every so often we would go on a vacation just the two of us.
Question 4: What are some simple traditions you had (or have!) in your family that stuck with your kids into adulthood?
Karen’s Answer: Truly, as the mom, you need to have FUN with your traditions. Here are a few of ours:
Eating dinner together
Bedtime routine, bath time, pj’s, read books then bed (both of my adult daughters now do the same routine with their children.)
Church most every Sunday
Ate Mexican food at least once a week!
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